Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the Lord
with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways
acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Life is
difficult. It has taken me a long time
to finally figure out that it’s not a[HF1] cake walk. But God did not intend it to be. He states, “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give
unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all
men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me,
and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” [i]
The question, “If God loves me, why this?” is an age old
question. Everyone at some point [HF2] in their
lives ask this question. I know I have
more than once. Smart people view trials as an opportunity to learn and
grow. Others see them as stupid and a
waste of their time. Why is this? In the book Mindset, Carol S. Sweck explains that people have two ways to view
themselves. Whichever way you choose profoundly
affects you and your life. The two ways
are what she calls the fixed mindset and
the growth mindset.
Smart people view trials as an opportunity to learn and grow. Others see them as stupid and a waste of
their time. Why is this? In the book Mindset Carol S. Sweck explains that people have two ways to view
themselves. Whichever way you choose
profoundly affects you and your life.
The two ways are what she calls the fixed
mindset and growth mindset.
People who have the view of the fixed mindset are those who view things as if they were
set in stone. In education, these
people view themselves as smart or stupid.
As most people have too much pride to admit that they are stupid, the
majority like to think they are educated.
Public schools and colleges inflate people’s perception of their worth[HF3] .
I know personally many adults who believe
that once through with college, they are
finished in their education. They believe that because they have a piece
of paper called a diploma they are smart.
But Dr. Akanisi, who is the Dean of Arts, Law and Education at the
University of New England, Australi[HF4] a,
disagrees. “We know education does not end with our schooling or training – it
is a lifelong process therefore everyone must continue to learn.”[ii] Louis L’Amour agrees[HF5] with
this in his autobiography, The Education
of a Wandering Man. “The idea of education has been so tied to schools,
universities, and professors that many assume there is no other way, but
education is available to anyone within reach of a library, post office, or
even a newsstand.”[iii]
Sweck goes on to say in her book that the people who have a fixed mindset need to be constantly reassured of
their self-worth. If something proves
difficult then they conclude that the task simply can’t
be done. As part of her research
she studied grade school children who were given a puzzle to complete. Most
children loved the easy puzzles. As each
child finished the first puzzle, they were given another one. Each puzzle was progressively more difficult.
She observed that some children grew excited about the challenge, while
others got discouraged. Why is
that? She says that it is because of the
way they viewed themselves. Those with a fixed
mindset don’t believe that they can improve.
The people who she says have the growth mindset don’t love
trials. But they understand and have the
wisdom to know that the experiences will benefit them
in the long run. “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine
adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou
endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy
foes.”[iv] God tells us here
that we need to be patient. People with
the growth mindset have the patience and per[HF6] sistence
to keep trying.
Why is it important to know about the two different mindsets? Because once we become
aware of the way we view the world we can evaluate our lives, and, if
necessary, begin the process of self-improvement. The Lord expects us to try to improve
ourselves during our time on this earth.
“For behold, this life is the time
for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for
men to perform their labors. And now, as
I said unto you before, as ye have had so many witnesses, therefore, I beseech
of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance until the end;
for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold,
if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of
darkness wherein there can be no labor performed.”[v]
Therefore, whether we have a
fixed or growth mindset is vitally important[HF7] . If we believe we can grow and become better,
then we will improve our lives, and prepare to meet God. God has declared that no unclean thing can
enter into the kingdom of God.
But what makes us unclean?
Sinning makes us unclean. A sin
is defined as “an act that violates a known moral rule.”[vi] God has given us various commandments
throughout history. Most of these are
found in the Bible, Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of
Great Price. Some of the most famous are
“Love thy neighbor as thy self,”[vii] the 10
Commandments given to Moses on Mount Sinai, and many others. We sin by
committing an act that is contrary to God’s commandments.
“Wherefore, the Lord God gave
unto man that he should act for himself. Wherefore, man could not act for
himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other.”[viii]
We
are given agency, or the ability to act for ourselves. This is one of God’s
most precious gifts to mankind. Of all
of God’s great and wonderful creations, man is the only creation that has the
power and potential to shape his own destiny.
“Now the Lord had shown unto me,
Abraham, the intelligences that were organized before the world was; and among
all these there were many of the noble and great ones;
And God saw these souls that they were good,
and he stood in the midst of them, and he said: These I will make my rulers;
for he stood among those that were spirits, and he saw that they were good; and
he said unto me: Abraham, thou art one of them; thou wast chosen before thou
wast born.
And
there stood one among them that was like unto God, and he said unto those who
were with him: We will go down, for there is space there, and we will take of
these materials, and we will make an earth whereon these may dwell;
And we will prove them herewith, to see if
they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them;
And they who keep their first estate shall be
added upon; and they who keep not their first estate shall not have glory in
the same kingdom with those who keep their first estate; and they who keep
their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever.
And the Lord said: Whom shall I send? And one
answered like unto the Son of Man: Here am I, send me. And another answered and
said: Here am I, send me. And the Lord said: I will send the first.
And the second was angry, and kept not his
first estate; and, at that day, many followed after him.”[ix]
The second mentioned here is Satan, or Lucifer. He is known as the Devil. He and his angels were cast down to the earth
to serve a purpose. They are supposed to
tempt us, to cause us to sin.
Why would God, if he is so loving and caring, send someone who is
supposed to make life difficult?
“Nevertheless, the Lord God
showeth us our weakness that we may know that it is by his grace, and his great
condescensions unto the children of men, that we have power to do these
things.” [x]
God gives us weaknesses and trials to help us grow. He is not a cruel God. In the book The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson, Ordinary goes through what is a
desert. He is left alone, drifting
around, unsure of what to do. Everyone,
whether they have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset, has felt this way at one time or
another. The Dream Giver, who symbolizes
God, leaves Ordinary with just enough food and water to keep him alive. Sometimes God gives us these personal deserts
to help us appreciate all He does for us, and to teach us some of life’s most
important lessons. This is why it is
critically important to view life through the growth mindset. We will learn, grow and become like God.
Life is all about becoming. It
is not always being. When we are born,
we are not born great[H8] . We start out as babies, little tiny things
completely dependent on someone else. As
we learn to walk, talk, grow, we begin to lose some of that dependence. Unfortunately, we sometimes forget that there
is always on person we can always
rely on. God.
E. T. Sullivan once wrote these interesting words: “When God wants a great work done in the
world or a great wrong righted, he goes about it in a very unusual way. He
doesn’t stir up his earthquakes or send forth his thunderbolts. Instead, he has
a helpless baby born, perhaps in a simple home and of some obscure mother. And
then God puts the idea into the mother’s heart, and she puts it into the baby’s
mind. And then God waits. The greatest forces in the world are not the earthquakes
and the thunderbolts. The greatest forces in the world are babies.[xi]
Those who have a growth mindset do not often forget who is in charge. They do periodically. I do not believe that we will always have a fixed mindset mentality, or always
have a growth mindset mentality. It is possible to have a combination of
both.
I recently began to read Mindset,
and since then have thought a lot about the different mindsets. I have found myself thinking that in certain
situations I have the growth mindset, and other times I am in the fixed
mindset.
Some examples of how I think in terms
of growth: I believe that education is a
lifetime process. If it were possible
for us to learn everything that we need to know for all eternity on earth, then
why do we have such long life-spans? In
the early biblical times, the ancient patriarchs lived hundreds of years. I have heard it speculated that it took many
times longer for the ancient patriarchs to learn to be obedient to God. I don’t necessarily believe that to be true. I think if God wanted us to be perfect, we
would not live very long[H9] .
God is very merciful. It
sometimes takes years for people to figure out something in life that might
take others only a few days to learn.
Life is individually tailored by God to fit our unique talents and abilities. No
two people are exactly alike. We might share names with others, but they would more than
likely have different habits, talents and abilities.
As a teenager I was mostly homeschooled. I viewed myself as a far smart, more talented
person than the average teenager at the local high school. I was fine with my life. I didn’t see the pressing need that my
parents and others saw for me to improve my skills and abilities. I was happy where I was and didn’t want to change. Unfortunately, those with a fixed mindset
often see their folly too late to fix the problem. I now see with the benefit of hindsight that
I could have used that precious time to improve myself.
Recently I had a brother disobey me while I was
babysitting. He went somewhere when I
told him not to. This caused me to be
angry with him. I viewed him as an
irresponsible child. I wanted to see him
punished. In the past, he has been irresponsible. I viewed him as he had been. In my mind I didn’t allow him to seem to have
grown at all. I had to make him seem
less than me, in order to see myself as superior. This is something that those with fixed
mindsets must do in order to feel good about themselves. If someone else is worse, I am better than them[H10] .
This is called pride, the greatest of all sins. Pride caused the Nephite civilization to be
destroyed. They viewed themselves as
superior over their enemies. Pride is
putting oneself up on a pedestal. It is
never good to have pride.
Ezra Taft Benson said: “Pride is
a very misunderstood sin, and many are sinning in ignorance. In the scriptures
there is no such thing as righteous pride—it is always considered a sin.
Therefore, no matter how the world uses the term, we must understand how God
uses the term so we can understand the language of holy writ and profit
thereby.”
Most of
us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or
haughtiness. All of these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core, is
still missing.
The
central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our
fellowmen. Enmity means ‘hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of
opposition.’ It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us.”[xii]
These are the words of a modern day prophet. This is pretty strong language. We are not supposed to have any sort of pride
at all. When I lifted myself above my
brother, thinking of myself as better than him, I was sinning.
Now, I am not saying that those with a fixed mindset are sinning by
thinking a certain way. They
aren’t. But what I am saying, that at
times when I have a fixed mindset, I am.
It almost always seems like when I sin I have a fixed mentality.
At other times, I have thought thoughts such as, “Well, I am a bum,
and that is all there is to it.” Or “I
can’t ever seem to find a job, so why even try?” These thoughts are dangerous. Because once we give up trying, that is when we fail.
Those who always try will succeed eventually,
even if initial success is only the experience of knowing what doesn’t work.
The book The Jackrabbit Factor
illustrates this point perfectly. In the
story, a man is at his breaking point.
He has little or no money, his wife wants him to succeed, and he doesn’t
know where to turn. He wants to keep
trying, but he feels hopeless. He dreams
a dream where he learns how to obtain
jackrabbits. He has to keep working,
believing that things will work out for the best. He learns that you must[H11] persist to succeed. He learns the secrets to becoming financially
independent. He
learned how to think with the growth mindset.
We have, and we will continue to have trials, pride, sin and other
misdeeds in our lives. What we do about
them is our choice. We can learn and
grow from them, or we can allow them to control our lives.
Those with the fixed mindsets tend to allow their failures to define
them. If they aren’t smart enough, they
will find other ways to cope with their perceived failures. They have to have perfect results, every
time. If they fail once, they will
always feel like they are a failure, or worthless.
Fixed mindsets are a problem to[H12] society.
I would guess that most alcoholics, drug addicts, and suicides are
because someone has met some tough challenge, or perhaps a series of them, in
their lives.
They have turned to alternatives for their happiness.
Being drunk might seem like a way to escape life and our
miseries. So the headache that follows
must be worth it to them. It is a
temporary escape. Each time you get
drunk, you feel like you need it more and more.
Same with drugs; once you start smoking, you need it to feel good. As you use them more and more, you need more
and more to satisfy you. This downward
cycle will continue until you kill yourself.
The rate of suicides in the USA is frightening. In 2006 in the United
States there were 33,300 suicides.[xiii] This is an alarming number of people ending
their lives. Why do they do it? I believe these people have fixed mindsets,
and perceived themselves as failure.
They were unable to cope with their lives.
Why, though do people find it so hard to overcome failures? Failure is hard to deal with. We have different ways to cope with it. Some don’t know how. I don’t like to fail. No one does.
But I don’t believe anyone truly fails unless they give up. If you aren’t able to find a job, then keep
looking. If your child is going down the
wrong path, keep having faith. Keep
trying to help them see the light. Don’t
ever give up!
If someone succeeds, applaud.
If they do better than you, try harder next time. Those with the growth mindset use their
shortcomings and failures as motivation.
If they don’t score well on a test, or get criticized, they evaluate
what went wrong and try their best to fix it.
They study harder. They want to
succeed badly enough that they are willing to work harder to succeed.
We need to trust in the Lord to help us succeed in life, and trust
that He will help us find the patience to wait for the promised blessings. He has promised blessings to those who keep
His commandments: “I, the Lord, am bound
when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.”[xiv]
“And the days of
the children of men were prolonged, according to the will of God, that they might repent while in the flesh; wherefore, their state
became a state of probation, and their time was lengthened, according
to the commandments which the Lord God gave unto the children of men. For he
gave commandment that all men must repent; for he showed unto all men that they
were lost,
because of the transgression of their parents.” [xv]
Sin entered the world with Adam and Eve’s partaking of the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. They willfully disobeyed [H13] one of God’s commandments. Because of their
choice to eat the forbidden fruit, we have the wonderful opportunity to learn
to repent. Repenting means to
turn our will and hearts over to God, and to ask His forgiveness. It means learning from our mistakes.
So how do we repent? Repentance
is a process. There are many steps. Just
because you have repented once of a sin does not mean that you are covered for
the rest of your life. Many people I
have met seem to have adopted this mentality.
The first step is to recognize that we have sinned. If we don’t realize it, then how will we
perceive that we have done wrong?
The second step is to have faith in Jesus Christ, and ask for
forgiveness. We need to ask God, then
man. If I have stolen from a store, in
order to repent fully I have to go to the store owner or manager, and confess
what I have done.
The third step is restitution.
If I am unable to restore the item I have stolen, then I would need to
repay the money. If I ate the candy bar,
I need to pay the price of it. Sometimes
this isn’t possible to repay for the sin.
If we have physically hurt someone, we can’t always take away the pain
our sin has caused.
The fourth step is to apologize.
We need to say we are sorry. We
need to try to make things right with the person wronged by our actions.
The fifth step is to turn away from sin. If we steal, we must never do so again. If we did so again, we have not truly repented[H14] .
Elder Boyd K. Packer taught, “The
discouraging idea that a mistake (or even a series of them) makes it
everlastingly too late, does not come from the Lord. He has said that if we
will repent, not only will He forgive us our transgressions, but He will forget
them and remember our sins no more.”[xvi]
Luckily for us, our loving Heavenly Father knew that we would sin
again and again. He provided His son,
Jesus Christ, to take away our sins if we would but follow these simple
steps.
This decision to follow these steps can be difficult. We must first realize that we are nothing
without God. We must trust in him enough
to repent. We must abandon pride. This right here is so hard for human beings
to do. We must admit that we are not the
best. Those with fixed mindsets aren’t
likely to do this.
If we find after quiet meditation that we view ourselves in the fixed
mindset, I would hope that everyone would take a quiet
minute to see if they can shift their way of thinking. I know as I’ve read Mindset I have taken a few moments to collect my thoughts, to see
what I could do to become better. One
purpose of this book I believe is to bring awareness to a problem. Once people are aware of a problem, they will
normally try to fix it.
But why do people even choose to have a fixed mindset? Most people are unaware that they are making
such a big decision when they do make it.
But they still make a choice, whether consciously, or
unconsciously. It may seem to be the
easier decision at the time. It may seem hard to grin at the face of adversity. It is hard.
But making the choice to grow instead of being the same, with a fixed
mindset, is one that brings forth the most joy and blessings.
A river follows the path of least resistance. The water does not flow in a straight line. It curves, twists and turns in an effort to flow. It never is the straightest, truest path towards the ultimate goal. We sometimes have to trust that God is in control, that He knows the path we are supposed to take. The path may not seem straight, but it leads to our ultimate goal: to live with Heavenly Father again.
This has personal meaning to me. Like most 19 year olds LDS boys, I was
excited to serve the Lord on a 2-year
mission. ‘It will
be awesome,’ I would think to myself. I
wanted to go badly. I got my call to
serve in the California Riverside Mission.
I served for about 8 months when I got transferred to a bike area in
Menifee. All my life I have suffered
from knee pain. I knew that it would be
challenging, but I was excited for the challenge. I got on my bike that first day, and rode off
to whatever lay ahead. But we had 2 huge
hills in our area, with our apartment on the wrong side of the hills. We had to go up and over one or the other
each time we went out to work. My knees
couldn’t take the effort. I started to
have terrible knee pain.
After about 2 weeks of biking, I finally got the courage to call the
mission nurse. She called the mission
doctor. We tried rest, a brace, and
other things in an effort to help my knees feel better. Nothing seemed to work. I was given a car, even ordered to stay
inside my apartment all day, every day.
That was not fun. I felt
terrible, like I was hopeless.
With the benefit of hindsight, I had a choice at this time: I could feel like a failure; that my knees
weren’t good enough to be an effective missionary, or I could trust that God
had a special plan for me. This was one
heck of a rough time emotionally for me.
Or I could look upon this as an opportunity to learn and grow in
trusting the Lord.
I would love to say that during this difficult period I was perfect in
developing this trust. I wasn’t. I did read the whole Doctrine and Covenants
in less than a month. I did study and learn
how I could be a more effective teacher.
I did learn patience. But I did still question why this was happening to me.
About 5 weeks after my knees began to hurt I had the choice: Do I stay on the mission, or do I go home and
heal? It was hoped that if I went home
that I would heal quickly. We still at
this point were unsure what exactly was wrong.
I chose the path of least resistance.
I chose to come home. I could
have stayed in California. I am not sure
what would have happened if I had stayed.
But coming home was the path the Lord needed me to follow. I needed to learn new things. I have read over 7,000 [H15] pages since I have been home. I have had many opportunities to follow a
dream of mine: teaching. I have mentored my cousins, James and Steven. I have become more converted to the
gospel. But it has been rough.
What would have happened had I stayed in California? I don’t know the answer to that. I miss my companions, the people, the weather
during this cold winter, and the special feeling I always had while being a missionary. I might have taught another person who would
join the church and be baptized. There
are a lot of things that could have happened.
But the path I am on, and have been on, has been
the right one that the Lord needed me to follow.
I have found that I have developed over time the growth mindset. It has taken effort, but I am always trying
to improve. There are times I don’t want
trials, but they are there. I am making
an effort to grow. That is all the Lord
requires: effort. It takes effort to
trust Him, to repent, to become better.
This is the essence of His plan for us.
Having the growth mindset doesn’t take away the trials. It makes them a little easier to bear. There are some trials that truly are great
burdens. Sometimes we need to trust and
rely on God to take care of everything.
His son, Jesus Christ has already felt our anguish, trials, pains,
tribulations. “And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations
of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will
take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon
him death that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he
will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy,
according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor
his people according to their infirmities.”[xvii] The
atonement also provides us the way to repent of our sins. (15)[H16]
We need to trust in His plan for us.
We need to have faith. It may be
hard, but it will be worth it. I believe
having faith in God and trusting Him to take care of things go hand in hand.
What is faith? This is a
question that many people struggle with.
Many simply don’t believe that there is a god at all. They proclaim themselves to be atheists. One claim of some atheists that I know is
that humans are the supreme beings in the universe; that there is no other
species, or other people on any other planet.
Here are some scriptures that define faith: “And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I
would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not
seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness
until after the trial of your faith.“[xviii]
and “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not
seen.”[xix]
Why is it important to trust so completely in God? It is important because if we submit to God,
he will guide us through the pathways of life.
His way is always better than our ways.
He is like a kind and wise parent who knows enough to guide us through
with the least amount of physical, emotional and spiritual pain. We are the
unprofitable servants. No matter how
much we do for Him we can never repay Him for what He has done for us. The ONLY
gift we can give Him is our agency.
[i]
Book of Mormon,
Ether 12:27
[ii]
Solomon Star, Monday, (19 April 2010) Education is a lifelong process: Dr. Akanisi. Retrieved 24 April, 2012 from http://www.solomonstarnews.com/news/national/4924-education-is-a-lifelong-process-dr-akanisi
[iv] Doctrine and Covenants Section 121:7-8
[v]
Book of Mormon,
Alma 34: 32-33
[vii]
Matthew 19:19 Holy
Bible King James Version
[viii]
Book of Mormon, 2
Nephi 2:16
[ix]
Pearl of Great
Price, Abraham 3:22-28
[x]
Book of Mormon,
Jacob 4:7
[xi]
Charles L. Wallis, ed., (1965), The Treasure Chest, p. 53.
[xii]
Benson, Ezra Taft, (May 1989) Beware of Pride. Retrieved 24 April 2012
from http://www.lds.org/ensign/1989/05/beware-of-pride?lang=eng&query=beware+pride
[xiii] Wikipedia, (February 2012) Suicide in the United States.
Retrieved 24 April 2012 from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_in_the_United_States
[xiv]
Doctrine and
Covenants Section 82:10
[xv]
Book of Mormon, 2
Nephi 2:21
[xvi] Packer, Boyd K. (May, 1989) To all Young Women and Men.
Retrieved 24 April 2012 from http://www.lds.org/ensign/1989/05/to-young-women-and-men?lang=eng
[xvii] Book of Mormon, Alma 7:11-12
[xviii]
Book of Mormon,
Ether 12:6
[xix]
The Holy Bible,
Hebrews 11:1
