How do I love others?

Jesus taught, "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another." (John 13:34)  He did not lay any conditions on this.  He did not say, "Only love your friends."  He said EVERYONE!  I don't know about all of you, but this is something I have a very hard time doing.

What has helped me do better at loving others is first understanding what love it.  There are different types of love.  You can love a husband or wife, a child, a sports team, or a particular food.  Not all of these things inspire the same kind of love.  When I say I love stroganoff, I am saying I enjoy that food a lot.  I would choose to eat it more frequently than any other food.

I believe that love is a feeling of attachment.  My brother loves to watch the Utah Jazz, and he follows them and supports them.  That is the kind of love some have for a sports team.  Loving a person is another feeling entirely.  When you say you love someone, you are saying that you are comfortable with your relationship, that you accept them for who they are.

Love is not something we can place conditions on.  Just like Jesus did not say that you only need to love some people, we cannot say, "I will only give you my love if you please me, if you clean the house for me," or whatever you want them to do or be.  You either love someone or you do not.  It is  that simple.

Love is something I think this world needs more of.  The world has conditioned people to believe in the survival of the fittest; that there has always been and always will be a winner and a loser.  Billions of dollars are spent each year on teams, games and other media that reinforces this view.  That is a tragic view of the world.

One reason I think the world needs more love is because love has the power to soften hearts.  Every day the news has stories of men and women who choose to do drugs, who break the law and hurt others.  They do not think that what they do will affect others but it does.  If someone has said, "Hi!  How are you today?" to some of these men and women I believe that they would not do the things they do.  All a lot of people need is to know someone cares about them as a human being.

I do not believe that we need to feel a strong attachment to everyone in order to follow this commandment.  We need to be friendly and help when we can.  If someone is in need, help them the way you would want to be helped.  I will often serve someone to show them I care.  And in the case of strangers, I would say that caring about them is the same as loving them.  We need to love those who are close to us, but also the other people who are around us every day.

Here are simple, yet achievable things we can do every single day that will help make a better world.  If we all do our part we can make a big difference.

1.  Say hi to a stranger.  Ask how they are doing.  You could be at work and ask a customer how their day is going.  Or you could ask a co-worker that you done know yet.  Ask a question about their life; don't be a busybody and pry, but something generic.  Talk about the weather.  I know it may seem awkward at first, but it doesn't have to be.  IT takes tow people to make a conversation awkward.

2.  Find some small way to serve them.  This one may be difficult, but there are many ways to serve others.  Taking out the trash in the office, picking up the living room after work, holding the door open for those following behind you are simple ways to serve.  Often times when someone holds the door open I think nothing of it.  But when I have an armful or would find opening the door is difficult I appreciate it when others take the short time to help me.

3.  Donate what you don't need to charity.  This can help out a lot in our world.  In Utah, we are lucky to have Deseret Industries, or DI.  My family has dropped off a lot of things there.  The DI and other charities will take what you give them and sell it very cheaply to those in need.  I know those who get things there are extremely grateful.  I know the DI has cheap coats, which are a need this time of year.  It is cold outside and everyone needs to bundle up.  Donating to a charity can help those who need things be able to get them.

Books this year

This year I have fallen off on my reading.  I am only at 32, but the books I have read this year are fantastic.  I would recommend any to you.  It is small but growing!

1.  The Guardian by Gerald Lund
2.  The Alchemist
3.  They also ran by Irving Stone
4.  Jesus the Christ
5.  Teach like your hair is on fire
6.  An education for our time by Josiah Bunting III
7.  Love is Eternal by Irving Stone
8.  The Story of the Book of Abraham by H. Donl Peterson
9.  The Book of Mormon and the Constitution by H. Verlan Andersen
10.  The Naked Socialist by Paul Skousan
11.  Brothers in battle; Best of Friends by Robyn Post
12.  The Imperial Cruise by James Bradley
13.  Band of Brothers by Stephan Ambrose
14.  Rise to Greatness by David Von Drehle
15.  Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey
16.  Hainan Incident by DM Coffman
17.  The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
18.  Launching a Leadership Revolution: Mastering the Five Levels of Influence. by Chris Brady
19.  Mentor: The Kid & and The CEO: A Simple Story of Overcoming Challenges and Achieving Significance by Tom Pace
20.  Purple Cow: Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable by Seth Godin
21.   LeaderShift by Oliver DeMille and Orrin Woodard
22.  Manning up by Kay S. Hymowitz
23.  10 people I want to meet in Heaven by S. Michael Wilcox
24.  The Hour of Peril by Daniel Stashower
25.  Elijah of Buxton by Christopher Paul Curtis
26.  Shades of Gray by Carolyn Reeder
27.  Give and Take by Adam Grant
28.  Alas, Babylon by Pat Frank
29.  Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie
30. Snow Whyte and the Queen of Meyhem by Milessa Lemon
31. Life
32. Give and take by Daniel Pink
33.  Between Husband and Wife by Lamb and Brinley.
34.  Mission accomplished by Oliver North.
35.  Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerich
36.  Tennis Shoes among the Nephites Series by Chris Heimerdinger


The list is short, but its growing!

Best Friends

I have a lot to be grateful for.  This time of year we have Thanksgiving to remind us of all we have.  Sometimes it is easy to only see what we lack.  It can be difficult to see the many, many blessings that the Lord has given us.  This year I am grateful for friends.

This year I made some great friends and renewed some old friendships.  I got the chance to become friends with people from my ward, some people that attend USU, and those in the community.  I got the opportunity to perform in a play with some amazing and talented people.  I got the chance to renew my friendship with a wonderful young lady, Cathy Hawkes.

Cathy and I knew each other before we both went on LDS missions.  I went to Riverside, CA and she went to Jackson, Mississippi.  We wrote letters back in forth the whole time.  I hadn't realized until I left that Cathy was a very good friend of mine and I didn't want to lose contact.

Well, throughout life I have had many friends.  Some were in my life a short time, others were in it for quite a while.  I remember that many of my first friends always seemed to be girls.  Then we moved to Erda.  Erda was a great place to be a kid; we had many young kids my age in the neighborhood and one who was homeschooled like I was. Brian Baker is his name.

Brian and I have kept in touch for a long time.  We would call each other on the phone once we moved to Delta.  After a few years we lost touch, but we got back in contact a few years ago.  He has many of the same interests as I do.  We both love to learn and read, we love to have the chance to discuss ideas.  We have had many great conversations.

After we moved to Delta I began to make new friends.  I had several great ones there.  Delta was fun.  We would play night games and do things outdoors during the summer.  As we were in Delta longer I began to say someone else was my best friend.

What is a best friend?  I have wondered this for a long time.  I wasn't sure until recently.  I believe a best friend is someone that you are able to be yourself with.  This means that you are comfortable doing ANYTHING with them; you wouldn't do anything inappropriate because they would not pressure you to do so.  You can be crazy and dance, sit and talk for hours, go bowling and do terrible and laugh at  yourself.

As I have gotten older I have had many best friends.  I first had Kaitlyn Moony as a best friend, then Brian, Trevor, Eric, Robert, Taylor, Sean.  All of these people have been amazing friends.  I wouldn't be the person I am today without them.  Each has come into my life at the right time to help me grow.  Each friend has shown me different qualities.

Best friends are friends you never lose.  I don't care how far distant we may seem, but we will always have the connection with best friends.  We can always shoot the breeze about times past, call up memories of childhood.  I would still say each of those friends I listed above are great friends, even though I haven't seen a few of them for several years.  I will always remember them.

Now I have a new best friend.  Cathy is my best friend.  She had always been a great friend.  She was there when I needed her, and I was there for her.  Best friends are good for a shoulder to cry on, a buddy to laugh with, or just someone to spend time with.  I have spent a ton of time with Cathy since April, and I am so excited that I get to marry the most beautiful, wonderful girl there is.

The Moral Influence by D. Todd Chistofferson

I want to thank the many women who have influenced me in my life.  I want to thank my mother, Janet Summit, who is the worlds best mom.  I don't know where I would be if she didn't listen and guide me.  I want to thank Cathy Hawkes, my wonderful fiancee.  She is beautiful and I cannot wait to get married to her next month.  My grandma, Nancy Ashcroft, is the best grandma of all time, allowing me to stop by and take naps, steal string cheese, and talk to her.

I also need to thank my mentors, Heather Hansen, for allowing me to borrow books and helping guide my life long education.  I need to thank Ronell Gardner and Kelly Hansen, for helping guide my education during my high school years.

From age immemorial, societies have relied on the moral force of women. While certainly not the only positive influence at work in society, the moral foundation provided by women has proved uniquely beneficial to the common good. Perhaps, because it is pervasive, this contribution of women is often underappreciated. I wish to express gratitude for the influence of good women, identify some of the philosophies and trends that threaten women’s strength and standing, and voice a plea to women to cultivate the innate moral power within them.

Women bring with them into the world a certain virtue, a divine gift that makes them adept at instilling such qualities as faith, courage, empathy, and refinement in relationships and in cultures. When praising the “unfeigned faith” he found in Timothy, Paul noted that this faith “dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice.”¹

Years ago, while living in Mexico, I observed firsthand what Paul meant. I recall a particular young mother, one of many among the women of the Church in Mexico whose faith in God graces their lives so naturally that they seem scarcely aware of it. This lovely woman radiated a moral authority, born of goodness, that influenced all around her for good. With her husband, she sacrificed a number of pleasures and possessions for their higher priorities, seemingly without a second thought. Her ability to perform feats of lifting, bending, and balancing with her children was near superhuman. The demands on her were many and her tasks often repetitive and mundane, yet underneath it all was a beautiful serenity, a sense of being about God’s work. As with the Savior, she was ennobled by blessing others through service and sacrifice. She was love personified.

I have been remarkably blessed by the moral influence of women, in particular my mother and my wife. Among other women that I look to in gratitude is Anna Daines. Anna and her husband, Henry, and their four children were among the pioneers of the Church in New Jersey, in the United States. Beginning in the 1930s, when Henry was a doctoral student at Rutgers University, he and Anna worked tirelessly with school and civic organizations in Metuchen, where they lived, to overcome deeply rooted prejudice against Mormons and to make the community a better place for all parents to raise their children.

Anna, for example, volunteered at the Metuchen YMCA and made herself indispensable. Within a year she was appointed president of the Mothers’ Auxiliary and then “was asked to run for one of the three women’s positions on the YMCA board of directors. She won without opposition, and so joined the very council that only a few years before had refused to let the Saints meet in their building!”²

My family moved into the New Brunswick Ward when I was a teenager. Sister Daines took notice of me and often expressed her confidence in my abilities and potential, which inspired me to reach high—higher than I would have without her encouragement. Once, because of a thoughtful and timely warning from her, I avoided a situation that would surely have led to regret. Although she is no longer here, Anna Daines’s influence continues to be felt and reflected in the lives of her descendants and countless others, myself included.

My grandmother Adena Warnick Swenson taught me to be conscientious in priesthood service. She encouraged me to memorize the sacramental blessings on the bread and water, explaining that in this way I could express them with greater understanding and feeling. Observing how she sustained my grandfather, a stake patriarch, engendered in me a reverence for sacred things. Grandma Swenson never learned how to drive a car, but she knew how to help boys become priesthood men.

A woman’s moral influence is nowhere more powerfully felt or more beneficially employed than in the home. There is no better setting for rearing the rising generation than the traditional family, where a father and a mother work in harmony to provide for, teach, and nurture their children. Where this ideal does not exist, people strive to duplicate its benefits as best they can in their particular circumstances.

In all events, a mother can exert an influence unequaled by any other person in any other relationship. By the power of her example and teaching, her sons learn to respect womanhood and to incorporate discipline and high moral standards in their own lives. Her daughters learn to cultivate their own virtue and to stand up for what is right, again and again, however unpopular. A mother’s love and high expectations lead her children to act responsibly without excuses, to be serious about education and personal development, and to make ongoing contributions to the well-being of all around them. Elder Neal A. Maxwell once asked: “When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?”³

Most sacred is a woman’s role in the creation of life. We know that our physical bodies have a divine origin⁴ and that we must experience both a physical birth and a spiritual rebirth to reach the highest realms in God’s celestial kingdom.⁵ Thus, women play an integral part (sometimes at the risk of their own lives) in God’s work and glory “to bring to pass theimmortality and eternal life of man.”⁶ As grandmothers, mothers, and role models, women have been the guardians of the wellspring of life, teaching each generation the importance of sexual purity—of chastity before marriage and fidelity within marriage. In this way, they have been a civilizing influence in society; they have brought out the best in men; they have perpetuated wholesome environments in which to raise secure and healthy children.

Sisters, I don’t want to overpraise you as we sometimes do in Mother’s Day talks that make you cringe. You don’t have to be perfect;⁷ I don’t claim that you are (with one possible exception who is sitting nearby at the moment). What I mean to say is that whether you are single or married, whether you have borne children or not, whether you are old, young, or in between, your moral authority is vital, and perhaps we have begun to take it and you for granted. Certainly there are trends and forces at work that would weaken and even eliminate your influence, to the great detriment of individuals, families, and society at large. Let me mention three as a caution and a warning.

A pernicious philosophy that undermines women’s moral influence is the devaluation of marriage and of motherhood and homemaking as a career. Some view homemaking with outright contempt, arguing it demeans women and that the relentless demands of raising children are a form of exploitation.⁸ They ridicule what they call “the mommy track” as a career. This is not fair or right. We do not diminish the value of what women or men achieve in any worthy endeavor or career—we all benefit from those achievements—but we still recognize there is not a higher good than motherhood and fatherhood in marriage. There is no superior career, and no amount of money, authority, or public acclaim can exceed the ultimate rewards of family. Whatever else a woman may accomplish, her moral influence is no more optimally employed than here.

Attitudes toward human sexuality threaten the moral authority of women on several fronts. Abortion for personal or social convenience strikes at the heart of a woman’s most sacred powers and destroys her moral authority. The same is true of sexual immorality and of revealing dress that not only debases women but reinforces the lie that a woman’s sexuality is what defines her worth.

There has long been a cultural double standard that expected women to be sexually circumspect while excusing male immorality. The unfairness of such a double standard is obvious, and it has been justifiably criticized and rejected. In that rejection, one would have hoped that men would rise to the higher, single standard, but just the opposite has occurred—women and girls are now encouraged to be as promiscuous as the double standard expected men to be. Where once women’s higher standards demanded commitment and responsibility from men, we now have sexual relations without conscience, fatherless families, and growing poverty. Equal-opportunity promiscuity simply robs women of their moral influence and degrades all of society.⁹ In this hollow bargain, it is men who are “liberated” and women and children who suffer most.

A third area of concern comes from those who, in the name of equality, want to erase all differences between the masculine and the feminine. Often this takes the form of pushing women to adopt more masculine traits—be more aggressive, tough, and confrontational. It is now common in movies and video games to see women in terribly violent roles, leaving dead bodies and mayhem in their wake. It is soul-numbing to see men in such roles and certainly no less so when women are the ones perpetrating and suffering the violence.

Former Young Women general president Margaret D. Nadauld taught: “The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”¹⁰ In blurring feminine and masculine differences, we lose the distinct, complementary gifts of women and men that together produce a greater whole.

My plea to women and girls today is to protect and cultivate the moral force that is within you. Preserve that innate virtue and the unique gifts you bring with you into the world. Your intuition is to do good and to be good, and as you follow the Holy Spirit, your moral authority and influence will grow. To the young women I say, don’t lose that moral force even before you have it in full measure. Take particular care that your language is clean, not coarse; that your dress reflects modesty, not vanity; and that your conduct manifests purity, not promiscuity. You cannot lift others to virtue on the one hand if you are entertaining vice on the other.

Sisters, of all your associations, it is your relationship with God, your Heavenly Father, who is the source of your moral power, that you must always put first in your life. Remember that Jesus’s power came through His single-minded devotion to the will of the Father. He never varied from that which pleased His Father.¹¹ Strive to be that kind of disciple of the Father and the Son, and your influence will never fade.

And do not be afraid to apply that influence without fear or apology. “Be ready always to give an answer to every [man, woman, and child] that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you.”¹² “Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.”¹³ “Bring up your children in light and truth.”¹⁴“Teach [them] to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.”¹⁵

In these exhortations to women, let no one willfully misunderstand. By praising and encouraging the moral force in women, I am not saying that men and boys are somehow excused from their own duty to stand for truth and righteousness, that their responsibility to serve, sacrifice, and minister is somehow less than that of women or can be left to women. Brethren, let us stand with women, share their burdens, and cultivate our own companion moral authority.

Dear sisters, we rely on the moral force you bring to the world, to marriage, to family, to the Church. We rely on blessings you bring down from heaven by your prayers and faith. We pray for your security, welfare, and happiness and for your influence to be sustained. In the name ofJesus Christ, amen.

Lessons learned about Love

This past month I became engaged to a beautiful and wonderful young lady.  I fell in love with her because of her beauty, charm and personality.  This past year has taught me many lessons about love.  I have wondered in the past what love really is, why people love others, what the scriptures teach about love, and what it means to be loved.  I want to share with you what I have learned thus far.

At the beginning of the year I met a young lady who as I spent a lot of time around began to have feelings for.  She is a nice young lady, and as I got to know her I began to wonder what love is.  What is really means to love someone.  I wasn't sure and I asked her.  She didn't really give me an answer.  It wasn't until after we stopped seeing each other that I came up with my definition of love.

Love is different for each individual.  It means something else for my neighbor than it does for me.  My definition of love is this: to love someone means you must accept their past, their current flaws, and still wanting them to be around you and involved in your life.  Only after accepting this can you love someone.  Love is not a conditional thing.  You can't love someone until they hurt you.  If you don't love someone just because they break up with you than you didn't really love them in the first place.  You cannot place conditions on love.

Why is this?  If you put conditions on love it is not true love.    I came to this belief because of the way my relationship with the girl ended.  We had become close and she decided she wanted to end the relationship.  I struggled for a long time, hurt about the way she had ended it.  I questioned whether I had indeed loved her in the first place.  As the time past and my anger cooled I realized I had loved her; my way of coping with the hurt feelings was to blame her for my feelings.

Hate and anger drive away all feelings of love.  If someone hurts us we probably feel hurt and say we never loved them.  But I know I did love her. I believe the way we love someone can and does change.  There is a binding love between husbands and wives that is strong.  It will remain strong as long as both partners make the effort to keep it strong.  If you allow the relationship to suffer at all so will your love.  I know consider my love for this girl to be the way I feel about a great friend whom I have lost most contact with.

I know that God loves everyone.  I have felt His love for me, and since we are all his children I know He cares you.  No matter what you have done, His love for you is unconditional.  Unconditional love means that He loves you for you, not for what you have done.  If He only loved those who are perfect, than He would only love Jesus.  He does not say, "I only love the righteous."  He says He loves all his children, and he is saddened when we sin and live in wickedness.

That is something else I have come to understand: unconditional love.  I know God loves us no matter what we do, that even if we mess up, like I have so many times, again and again making the same stupid mistakes,  each time I can repent and feel God's love for me.  I have felt His love each time I repent.  I don't mean to sound like I know why God's love is unconditional, but I do know it is.  I guess I'll have to ask him why when I see Him when I die.  :)

I have heard marriage can be tough, but from where I am now in life, I cannot wait until I am married.  I am nervous about the adjustment of being married, the kids, the stress of having no money and tons of bills, but I know that marriage is ordained of God, and that if marriage is not hard at times it would not be worth it.  There are a lot of negatives about marriage, but I know that the positives vastly outweigh the negatives.

The night it all came to be

I am sure many of you are wondering how I came to be recently engaged to a certain beautiful young lady.  I better start from the beginning then.  We had known each other for 7 years and after we both completed LDS missions we started to date.  Over the course of this summer I got to spend quite a bit of time with Cathy Hawkes and found she was a very nice young lady. Well, lets just say I was impressed with who she was and what she stands for.

Well, the first steps in towards marriage start with becoming engaged.  I took her ring shopping, and she picked out a few of the ones she liked.  I went back a while later and compared two rings shops.  I then decided on a beautiful three stone ring.  

I then went to ask her father.  She was really nervous because she wasn't sure of his reaction to who she felt.  Her dad was really nice and said it was up to us if we wanted to get married.  He gave some advice and his blessing.  After that it was down the planning the fine details of exactly how I would do it.

During this time Cathy kept bothering me for information regarding my impending proposal.  She knew it was coming and told me more than once to "hurry up already!" She wanted to know if and when I was talking to her dad, she wanted a picture of the ring box, she wanted to know everything except the date and time basically.  I frustrated her by giving her contradictory information and wouldn't tell her much.  I know she was excited as I was during this time.

I had been planning on asking her for about a month before it actually happened so I had tons of ideas come to my mind. One of the ideas involved a sign she gave me a sign that said, "Better late than never."  

I decided I would use this as she gave me the sign.  The week i decided to propose I was shopping in Seagull Book and saw a sign that said, "Choose your love, love your choice."  I decided it would also fit my need.  

I thought I would print a picture of the two of us and find a nice frame for it and give it to her.  I got it and then borrowed a picture of the Logan Temple from my Grandma.  My plan was finally set.

On Friday I went down to Salt Lake and picked her up from school.  We went and ate German food and then she went to work.  I then headed to where she lived in South Jordan.  She lives in a basement apartment of the Iverson family, whom she met on her mission in Mississippi.  I like the Iverson's and Sister Iverson was kind enough to let me into the home to prepare Cathy's room. 

I know Cathy had kind of been expecting to get the ring before she went to work but I was very careful not to commit to anything that day.  I could tell she was extremely nervous and just wanted me to ask her.  I enjoyed seeing her nervousness and was glad I waited.  At the Iverson's I printed out a letter I had written and a fancy paper with the words, "Cathy, Can I Take You Here?" which I put over the picture of the Logan Temple.

I went and got 11 balloons for her room, and Sister Iverson gave me the idea of getting pieces of paper and writing down reasons I love Cathy.  I taped the pieces of paper to the balloons and her walls.  I also got her a flower vase and some roses for her room.  I meant to get a dozen balloons, but only picked 11, and I accidentally got a balloon that said, "Happy Birthday!" on it.  Oops.  It was her birthday the previous Sunday so I hoped she took it to mean a happy late birthday. I had taken small pieces of paper and written reason's I love her on them and stuck them around her room.  Here is a picture of how her room looked.

Well, that night Cathy was working at Farr's Fresh in City Creek Center, located right across the street from Temple Square and the Church office buildings, and I went to go be with her at work for about 1 hour before they closed.  I took my backpack in, and "forgot" my book I was reading in my car.  I then went back out to get it.  As I got back in with the book and backpack, her co-worker started talking to me and we talked until they closed.  I didn't mind not reading as I used the book as a reason to have the backpack.  Inside the backpack were the things I was using to propose to Cathy.

After Farr's closed I asked her if we could go for a walk.  We headed across the street and walked towards a round step in the middle of the block.  If you stood on it, you could take a picture of you with the temple in the background.  I asked her to take a picture of me and then I planned on taking her picture, and then pulling everything out and proposing to her while she was on the step.  

As I was starting my proposal another couple came up and asked to take a picture of us if we would do the same for them.  We did, and then the other couple wouldn't leave the area.  I was not about to propose with people nearby, so I decided to pull her over to an area closed to the temple.  It is a circular path surrounded by flower gardens.  We stopped on a bench, and I leaned close and said, "I have a few things for you."  I reached in my backpack and pulled out the first sign.

I said, "You know Cathy, this has been a long time coming.  I know how you feel and I feel the same way about you.  I want you to keep this to remind this that I love you."  

I pulled out the next sign and said, "As I have gotten to know you, I have fallen in love.  I choose you, and I want to marry you." 

The picture of the two of us was next.  "This picture was taken on my birthday, and we both look so happy together.  I think we can be even happier than this for the rest of eternity."

And lastly, the picture of the temple.  I had taped the paper saying, "Cathy, Can I Take You There?" to the front so she had to read it first then pull it back to see the temple.  We both want to get married in the Logan Temple.  She was almost crying by this time.

I proceed to get down on one knee in front of her and pull out the ring box.  I say, "Cathy, will you marry me?"  She is in shock at this point, and it like, "Duh! Do you need to even ask?"  I take that as yes and the rest is history.  

Something funny happens as we are walking back to my car.  We are passing another couple and I say to Cathy, "You should tell them that I just proposed."  She does and the girl freaks out and screams, "Congratulations, you guys!  I am so happy for you!"  They then ask questions and we tell them what you have just read.  We then talk about how Cathy and I had met, etc. for a few minutes.  It turns out that the guy is in one of Cathy's classes at LDSBC, and they talked about class.  

It was an amazing night and one I will never forget.

History assignments

Here are some recent History assignments.

Imagine ways in which future archeologists, sifting through the remains of twentieth-century American civilization, might misinterpret the artifacts and structures of our time.

Imagine that in the year 2600 a lady is walking along a river and notices something strange floating in the water.  She notices a faded plastic box.  The box is small and thin, and has a black shiny side and a white side.  This lady has no idea what it is, or even its’ use. The person who had it a long time ago knew exactly what it is and what its’ use was.  She takes it to her neighbor who is a specialist on ancient artifacts to figure out what it is.  Her neighbor speculates that the box was a primitive attempt to make a phone, but everyone these days has much more sophisticated ways of communicating; they have little ear pieces that they use for phones that are voice activated.

The plastic box was once a cell phone.  Today in 2013 everyone knows what a cell phone is and what it is used for.  A cell phone is a modern convenience that allows us to talk and send messages to people who are far away or near us.  We can send a text message, phone call, play games and search for information on the internet. 

This happens quite often today when an archeologist finds an artifact and has no idea what it was used for.  What an archeologist does is to try to uncover as much as possible about the past and draw conclusions.  These conclusions may or not be true.  The archeologists observe the evidence and the surrounding area to try to find other clues about the past.

While archeologists have discovered many things about the past they may not have all the information.  If they find something new in an area, like a skeleton, they can analyze the body to try to find the environment that it lived in.  They do this by comparing it to our bodies and how it differs.  But there is no sure way of knowing what happened in the past.  If a person saw a big screen TV 500 years from now they may not know that is brings entertainment to millions of people today.

Why would the Americans of the nineteenth century resist the idea that the mounds were the work of Native Americans?

Native Americans during the 10^th-14^th centuries in the middle of now what is the United States constructed what appear to be giant mounds.  These mounds served as burial grounds for centuries.  When European settlers came after Columbus discovered the American continents they believed the native population to be savages.  Savages as in they were primitive and not on the same social level with the Europeans.

An archaeologist in 1872 wrote, “No savage tribe found here by Europeans could have undertaken such constructions as those of the Mound-Builders. The wild Indians found in North America lived rudely in tribes.  They had only such organization as was required by their nomadic habits…. These barbarous Indians gave no sign of being capable of the systematic application to useful industry which promotes intelligence, elevates the conditions of life.”

Another reason the Europeans of the 19^th century resisted the idea that the mounds were the work of the native population was racism.  Europeans did not like Indians who they considered killers.  They considered them underneath them socially and thought they were not capable of doing anything worthy of their attention.

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How did events in Virginia in 1619 help to shape the course of American history? What precedents were set and how do they affect, if at all, the America of today?

In the year 1619 three things happened in the English colony of Virginia that helped shape the course of American history.  In that year the House of Burgesses was formed, making it one of the first popular elected essabmly in America.  Later that year some women arrived from England, helping the settlers settle down and create families.  Until this time the majority of the settlers were men.  They had no roots to the land and therefore didn’t really concern themselves with settling down.  Also in the year slaves were brought over from Africa.

The House of Burgesses was made up of men who were elected by land owning males.  Women, blacks, and men who did not own land were not able to vote. This assembly was to make just laws to benefit the people of the whole colony.  The formation of this group was important because it established the right of representation in American, and led to the formation of our current political system.

Having women come it helped make men settle down. Until this time any man could get on a ship back to England and leave the colony.  But once they had families they didn’t do that; they settled down and created homes and farms, which helped Virginia become a permanent colony. 

Having black slaves helped with this as English settlers would not work without a wage, while blacks were forced to work.  It established slavery as acceptable, and eventually led to the civil war. At first blacks were indentured servants, working a number of years to earn their freedom.  But in the 1660’s the settlers thought that it was easier to keep the blacks in slavery than buy new ones every few years.

These changes to the colony in Virginia in the year 1619 helped shape American history.  Having women helped settlers establish homes and farm, bringing in blacks to perform the labor allowed many English settlers to become rich.  Establishing the House of Burgesses gave the colonists the sense that they should be allowed to rule themselves.  This streak of independence led to the outbreak of the American Revolution.

Some historians have asserted that in permitting the colonists in Virginia to convene an assembly and take part in governance, the British planted the seed that grew into American independence. Argue the merits of this assertion.

In 1619 the House of Burgesses in Virginia convened, with the purpose to make laws to govern the whole colony.  The Virginia Company allowed this to happen as the Company was in London, making it hard to foresee all issues facing the colonists.  They thought it would be best if they were able to set some rules themselves.

If they Virginia Company could have seen the end result of House of Burgesses they might not have allowed it to be established.  Once Americans were able to decide some issues for themselves they thought that they should be allowed the ability to govern.  They wondered why an assembly, Parliament, was able to set policies and laws that hurt the colonists.

Granted, this shift of wanting to have complete ability to govern themselves did take a while to grow.  The House of Burgesses was established in 1619, and the American Revolution was not fought until the 1770’s and 1780’s.  But the seed had been planted.  The colonists wanted things that the British didn’t want to allow them, and so they Americans fought for the right for self government.

Learning

The glory of God is intelligence.” It could go on to say, “Or in other words light and truth,” and, further, to say that “light and truth forsake that evil one” (D&C 93:36–37). You don’t have to read that very often before you begin to understand why knowledge is important, why intelligence is necessary, why light and truth are tools in forsaking the evil one.

I love this quote because it shows me why learning and seeking knowledge are important. For anyone who knows me I love to learn and find out the meaning of things. The reason we need to know things and seek out knowledge is because the more we know the better we are able to handle situations that we face in life.

If we know it is wrong to get angry than less likely we are to get angry. If I know stealing is wrong than I won't steal. The more we know about the gospel of Jesus Christ the more we learn that we alone cannot go through life and be saved. We know we must rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ to be saved. We do this by repenting of our sins.

How do we gain knowledge? We must first desire to learn and the act on the desire. We must study and read the scriptures and learn from the best books. We must experience things for ourselves. We must make mistakes and learn how we can handle similar situations in the future.

Knowledge helps us fight against Satan. If we study the scriptures and read the best books we will gain knowledge. We must also apply those lessons and the ones we learn by experience in order to gain more knowledge. If we hope to saved in the kingdom of God then we must gain knowledge.

The desires of our hearts

The Desires of Our Hearts

Dallin H. Oaks was a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when this devotional address was given at Brigham Young University on 8 October 1985.

Each of us desires the ultimate blessing of exaltation in the celestial kingdom. Even when we fall short, we desire what is right. That is my subject—"The Desires of Our Hearts."I am interested in this subject because it highlights a critical contrast between the laws of God, as revealed in the scriptures, and what I will call the laws of man, as set out in the national and state laws with which I was concerned in my thirty years in the legal profession.Laws—Man's and God'sThe laws of man are never concerned about a person's desires or thoughts in isolation. 

When the law inquires into a person's state of mind or intent, it only seeks to determine what consequence should be assigned to particular actions that person has taken.In contrast, the laws of God are concerned with spiritual things. Spiritual consequences are affected by actions, but they are also affected by desires or thoughts, independent of actions. Gospel consequences flow from the desires of our hearts.A simple example will illustrate that contrast. Suppose your neighbor has a beautiful sports car parked in his driveway. You take no action. You just look on that car longingly, and covet it. You have sinned. You have broken one of the Ten Commandments (see Exodus 20:17). Eternal consequences follow. Up to this point you have not broken any of the laws of man. However, if you take a particular action, such as jumping the ignition wires and driving away in the car, you will have committed a wrong that could be punished or redressed under the laws of man.

To determine what consequence should be assigned to your action, the law would attempt to determine your intent in taking the car. If you simply intended to borrow the car in the mistaken belief that your neighbor would consent, you might not be guilty of a crime. However, you would surely be liable for damages for the wrongful use of the car. If you intended to use the car contrary to the wishes of the owner and yet return it in a short time, you would have committed a minor crime. If you intended to take the car permanently, you would have committed a major crime. To choose among these various alternatives, a judge or jury would attempt to determine your state of mind.

This simple example makes the point that the laws of man will sometimes inquire into a person's state of mind in order to determine the consequences of particular actions, but the law will never punish or give effect to intent or desires standing alone. It was so in Book of Mormon times. As we read in Alma, the people of Nephi could be punished for their criminal actions, but "there was no law against a man's belief" (Alma 30:11).It is good that this is so. The law is an imperfect instrument. It has no reliable way to look into a person's heart.In contrast, God's law can assign consequences solely on the basis of our innermost thoughts and desires. 

There is no uncertainty in the administration of this law. As Ammon taught King Lamoni, God "looketh down upon all the children of men; and he knows all the thoughts and intents of the heart; for by his hand were they all created from the beginning" (Alma 18:32).Similarly, Paul warned the Hebrews that God "is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart," and "all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him" (Hebrews 4:12–13).In other words, God judges us not only for our acts, but also for the desires of our hearts. He has said so again and again. This is a challenging reality, but it is not surprising. Agency and accountability are eternal principles. 

We exercise our free agency not only by what we do, but also by what we decide, or will, ordesire. Restrictions on freedom can deprive us of the power to do,but no one can deprive us of the power to will or desire.Accountability must therefore reach and attach consequences to the desires of our hearts.This principle applies both in a negative way—making us guilty of sin for evil thoughts and desires—and in a positive way—promising us blessings for righteous desires.Sins of DesireThe best-known scriptural designation of sin on the basis of the desires of our hearts concerns sexual sin. The Savior declared:Behold, it is written by them of old time, that thou shalt not commit adultery;But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman, to lust after her, hath committed adultery already in his heart. [3 Nephi 12:27–28; see also Matthew 5:27–28]

The New Testament also condemns anger and unrighteous feelings—another example of sins committed solely on the basis of thoughts (see Matthew 5:22).The Book of Mormon illustrates this same principle in its definition of priestcraft, the sin committed by those who preach the gospel to gain personal advantage rather than to further the work of the Lord:Priestcrafts are that men preach and set themselves up for a light unto the world, that they may get gain and praise of the world; but they seek not the welfare of Zion. [2 Nephi 26:29; see also Alma 1:16]

Priestcraft is not a sin that is committed solely on the basis of our desires because it involves acts. Those acts becomes sinful only when they are done with the wrong desire, to get gain or praise. The sin is in the desire, not in the act.The same is true of those who draw near to the Lord with their lips but have removed their hearts far from him. (See Isaiah 29:13; Matthew 15:8; 2 Nephi 27:25; JS—H 1:19.) Likewise, the Psalmist condemned the people of ancient Israel because "their heart was not right with [God]" (Psalms 78:37).

When is our heart right with God? Our heart is right with God when we truly desire what is righteous—when we desire what God desires.Educating Our DesiresOur divinely granted willpower gives us control over our desires, but it may take many years for us to be sure that we have willed and educated them to the point that all are entirely righteous.President Joseph F. Smith taught that the "education. . . of our desires is one of far-reaching importance to our happiness in life" (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1939], p. 297).

How do we educate our desires? We begin, I suppose, with our feelings. The desires of our hearts are deep-seated and fundamental. But our feelings are closer to the surface and easier for us to identify and influence.Have you ever found yourself doing something you thought was right, but doing it because you "had" to? Did you ever keep a commandment of God with an attitude of resentment or self-righteousness, or even because you expected some immediate personal benefit? I suppose most of us have had this experience. Do you remember your feelings on such occasions? Do you think such feelings will be ignored by a Father in Heaven who gave us the willpower we call agency? Don't such feelings tell us something about the desires of our hearts?In order to have righteous desires, we have to control our thoughts and achieve appropriate feelings. My widowed mother understood that principle. "Pray about your feelings," she used to say. She taught her three children that we should pray to have the right kind of feelings about our experiences—positive or negative—and about the people we knew. If our feelings were right, we would be more likely to take right actions and to act for the right reasons.Mormon teaches that if our heart is not right, even a good action is not counted for righteousness.For behold, God hath said a man being evil cannot do that which is good; for if he offereth a gift, . . . except he shall do it with real intent it profiteth him nothing.For behold, it is not counted unto him for righteousness.For behold, if a man being evil giveth a gift, he doeth it grudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift; wherefore he is counted evil before God.[Moroni 7:6–8]

In other words, we must not only act, we must act for the right reasons. There are no blessings for actions taken without real intent.Mormon even applied this principle to our prayers.And likewise also is it counted evil unto a man, if he shall pray and not with real intent of heart; yea, and it profiteth him nothing, for God receiveth nonesuch. [Moroni 7:9]

When Joseph Smith first went to Cumorah, the angel refused to give him the plates, saying it was not yet time. During the years he had to wait before receiving the plates, the young prophet struggled with his desires. In 1832 he wrote:I had been tempted of the adversary and sought the Plates to obtain riches and kept not the commandment that I should have an eye single to the glory of God therefore I was chastened and sought diligently to obtain the plates and obtained them not until I was twenty one years of age. [The Personal Writings of Joseph Smith, comp. Dean C. Jessee (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1984), p. 7]

The Lord saw into the heart of the young prophet, chastened him for his improper desires, gave him time to repent and mature, and eventually forgave him and allowed him to continue his mission.Many scriptures reveal how the thoughts of our hearts will be relevant on the day of judgment. Alma taught that when we are brought before the bar of God to be judged, our works, our words, and our thoughts will all condemn us (see Alma 12:12, 14).Two of my favorite verses of scripture are in the Twenty-fourth Psalm:Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart.[Psalms 24:3–4; see also Alma 5:19]If we refrain from evil acts, we have clean hands. If we refrain from forbidden thoughts, we have pure hearts. 

Those who would ascend and stand in the ultimate holy place must have both.In the second chapter of Romans, the Apostle Paul teaches to the same effect. He explains that God will "judge the secrets of men" (Romans 2:16) "according to truth" (Romans 2:2). He contrasts the position of the Gentiles who do not have the Mosaic law but by their actions "shew the work of the law written in their hearts" (Romans 2:15) with those Jews who preach the law and then do not practice it. The Apostle Paul then concludes with these profound truths:For he is not a Jew, which is one outwardly; neither is that circumcision, which is outward in the flesh:But he is a Jew, which is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the spirit, and not in the letter; whose praise is not of men, but of God. [Romans 2:28–29]

What do these teachings about feelings and desires mean for each of us?Are we sure to be guiltless under the law of God if we merely refrain from evil acts? What if we entertain evil thoughts and desires?Will hateful feelings go unnoticed in the day of judgment? Will envy? Will covetousness?Are we guiltless if we engage in business practices that are intended to deceive, even though they involve no act that is punishable by law?Are we guiltless under the law of God just because the law of man provides no legal remedy for our victim?Are we eligible for blessings if we seem to seek the things of God, such as by preaching or publishing the message of the gospel, but do so to obtain riches or honor rather than with an eye single to his glory?Our answers to such questions illustrate what we might call the bad news, that we can sin without overt acts, merely by our feelings and the desires of our hearts.

There is also good news. Under the law of God, we can be rewarded for righteousness even where we are unable to perform the acts that are usually associated with such blessings.Blessings for Righteous DesiresWhen someone genuinely wanted to do something for my father-in-law but was prevented by circumstances, he would say: "Thank you. I will take the good will for the deed." Similarly, I believe that our Father in Heaven will receive the true desires of our hearts as a substitute for actions that are genuinely impossible.Here we see another contrast between the laws of God and the laws of men. 

It is entirely impractical to grant a legal advantage on the basis of an intent not translated into action. "I intended to sign that contract" or "We intended to get married" cannot stand as the equivalent of the act required by law. If the law were to give effect to intentions in lieu of specific acts, it would open the door for too much abuse, since the laws of man have no reliable means of determining our innermost thoughts.In contrast, the law of God can reward a righteous desire because an omniscient God can discern it. As revealed through the prophet of this dispensation, God "is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart" (D&C 33:1). If a person refrains from a particular act because he is genuinely unable to perform it, but truly would if he could, our Heavenly Father will know this and can reward that person accordingly.Perhaps the best scriptural illustration of this is King Benjamin's teaching about giving:And again, I say unto the poor. . . all you who deny the beggar, because ye have not; I would that ye say in your hearts that: I give not because I have not, but if I had I would give.And now, if ye say this in your hearts ye remain guiltless. [Mosiah 4:24–25]

Paul described the same principle in his second letter to the Corinthians: "If there be first a willing mind, it is accepted according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not" (2 Corinthians 8:12).President Harold B. Lee relied on these scriptures in another example:[Women] who have been denied the blessings of wifehood or motherhood in this life—who say in their heart, if I could have done, I would have done, or I would give if I had, but I cannot for I have not—the Lord will bless you as though you had done, and the world to come will compensate for those who desire in their hearts the righteous blessings that they were not able to have because of no fault of their own. [Harold B. Lee, Ye Are the Light of the World (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1974), p. 292]

The desires of our hearts will be an important consideration in the final judgment. Alma taught that God "granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life; . . . according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction. Yea, . . . he that knoweth good and evil, to him it is given according to his desires" (Alma 29:4–5).That is a sobering teaching, but it is also a gratifying one. It means that when we have done all that we can, our desires will carry us the rest of the way. It also means that if our desires are right, we can be forgiven for the mistakes we will inevitably make as we try to carry those desires into effect. What a comfort for our feelings of inadequacy! As Alma said:It is requisite with the justice of God that. . . if their works were good in this life, and the desires of their hearts were good, that they should also, at the last day, be restored unto that which is good.If he hath repented of his sins, and desired righteousness until the end of his days, even so he shall be rewarded unto righteousness.[Alma 41:3, 6]

Similarly, in this dispensation the Lord has revealed that he "will judge all men according to their works, according to the desire of their hearts" (D&C 137:9).I caution against two possible misunderstandings: First, we must remember that desire is a substitute only when action is truly impossible. If we attempt to use impossibility of action as a cover for our lack of true desire and therefore do not do all that we can to perform the acts that have been commanded, we may deceive ourselves, but we will not deceive the Righteous Judge.In order to serve as a substitute for action, desire cannot be superficial, impulsive, or temporary. It must be heartfelt, through and through. To be efficacious for blessings, the desires of our hearts must be so genuine that they can be called godly.

Second, we should not assume that the desires of our hearts can serve as a substitute for an ordinance of the gospel. Consider the words of the Lord in commanding two gospel ordinances: "Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God" (John 3:5). And in respect to the three degrees in the celestial glory, modern revelation states, "In order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]" (D&C 131:2). No exception is implied in these commands or authorized elsewhere in the scriptures.In the justice and mercy of God, these rigid commands pertaining to essential ordinances are tempered by divine authorization to perform those ordinances by proxy for those who did not have them performed in this life. Thus, a person in the spirit world who so desires is credited with participating in the ordinance just as if he or she had done so personally. In this manner, through the loving service of living proxies, departed spirits are also rewarded for the desires of their hearts.In summary, under the law of God we are accountable for our feelings and desires as well as our acts. Evil thoughts and desires will be punished. Acts that seem to be good bring blessings only when they are done with real and righteous intent.

On the positive side, we will be blessed for the righteous desires of our hearts even though some outside circumstance has made it impossible for us to carry those desires into action.To paraphrase Paul's teaching in Romans 2:29, he is a true Latter-day Saint who is one inwardly, whose conversion is that of the spirit, in the heart, whose praise is not of men for outward acts, but of God, for the inward desires of the heart.

May God bless us to understand this great principle and to act upon it. It challenges us. It comforts us. It is true.God lives. Jesus Christ is his Son. He suffered and died for our sins, that through repentance, through good works, through the righteous desires of our hearts, and through compliance with all the laws and ordinances of the gospel, we may attain to the highest degree of glory in the celestial kingdom. That is the destiny of the children of God. Of that I bear testimony as I ask the blessings of our Heavenly Father upon each of us in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Books this year

This year I have fallen off on my reading.  I am only at 32, but the books I have read this year are fantastic.  I would recommend any to you.  It is small but growing!

1.  The Guardian by Gerald Lund
2.  The Alchemist
3.  They also ran by Irving Stone
4.  Jesus the Christ
5.  Teach like your hair is on fire
6.  An education for our time by Josiah Bunting III
7.  Love is Eternal by Irving Stone
8.  The Story of the Book of Abraham by H. Donl Peterson
9.  The Book of Mormon and the Constitution by H. Verlan Andersen
10.  The Naked Socialist by Paul Skousan
11.  Brothers in battle; Best of Friends by Robyn Post
12.  The Imperial Cruise by James Bradley
13.  Band of Brothers by Stephan Ambrose
14.  Rise to Greatness by David Von Drehle
15.  Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey
16.  Hainan Incident by DM Coffman
17.  The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
18.  Launching a Leadership Revolution: Mastering the Five Levels of Influence. by Chris Brady
19.  Mentor: The Kid & and The CEO: A Simple Story of Overcoming Challenges and Achieving Significance by Tom Pace
20.  Purple Cow: Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable by Seth Godin
21.   LeaderShift by Oliver DeMille and Orrin Woodard
22.  Manning up by Kay S. Hymowitz
23.  10 people I want to meet in Heaven by S. Michael Wilcox
24.  The Hour of Peril by Daniel Stashower
25.  Elijah of Buxton by Christopher Paul Curtis
26.  Shades of Gray by Carolyn Reeder
27.  Give and Take by Adam Grant
28.  Alas, Babylon by Pat Frank
29.  Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie
30. Snow Whyte and the Queen of Meyhem by Milessa Lemon
31. Life
32. Give and take by Daniel Pink
33.  Between Husband and Wife by Lamb and Brinley.
34.  Mission accomplished by Oliver North.
35.  Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerich
36.  Tennis Shoes among the Nephites Series by Chris Heimerdinger


The list is short, but its growing!

A break with the past

A Break With The Past

Almost every significant breakthrough is the result of a courageous break with traditional ways of thinking

One day a long, long time ago, in the middle of the worst winter in recorded history, Jacques was walking in the forest on his way home from hunting.  He was tired as he had been tracking a deer that had taken him 7 miles from his cabin in the deep wood.  He had shot the deer with his last arrow.  The deer had proven too heavy for Jacques to drag for more than a few hundred yards by himself.  He was excited to have killed such a large deer but discouraged because he wasn’t strong enough to get it home by himself.  He was headed home to enlist his brothers to help him haul it back home.

Suddenly, a bright light appeared in front of him.  The outline of a little person slowly appeared in the center of the bright light.  What is this?  A devil? Jacques thought to himself.  He tried getting off the path to go around the light.  But the light slowly moved so as to stay directly between him and home, no matter which way he turned.

As the outline of the little person became more distinct, Jacques saw that it was a little green leprechaun.  I have never seen one of those before, he thought to himself. 

“How do you do?”  He says. 

“How de do?”  The Leprechaun replies.  “I am Louis, your guardian leprechaun.”

“Oh.  It’s nice of you to come introduce yourself.”  Jacques starts to move away, thinking that maybe the leprechaun would allow him to pass and continue on home. 

“What is troubling you, dear Jacques?”  The leprechaun smiled as he said the words.  His countenance plainly showed dear Jacques that he enjoyed seeing him troubled and weary. 

“I am trying to get home to get my brothers.  I shot a deer a few miles back and wish to get it home to feed our families.  I need to hurry, now if you will please excuse me!”  Jacques pushed past the leprechaun.

“That was rather rude, you know.”  Louis started to float after him. “Very rude indeed.  I was going to let you know how you could get the deer home right now, but since you’re being rude I will leave you.”

Louis the leprechaun slowly started to disappear into the increasing darkness.

“WAIT!  I am sorry I was rude.  Now will you please tell me?” Jacques shouted.

“Not with that tone of voice.”  The voice was quickly growing faint. 

“Please help me.”  Jacques said meekly.  Louis was gone.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”  Louis said, suddenly appearing behind Jacques.  The voice behind him made him jump.  “Hehe.  I scared you!”

“You did not.”  Jacques was still affronted by the rudeness of the leprechaun.  The leprechaun thinks me rude, he thought.  He’s the rude one for calling me rude and startling me.

“Naughty, naughty.”  Louis smiled the annoying smile again.  “I was going to tell you how you could get that deer home today while it is still light.”

“Yes, yes.  Please, will you tell me how?”

“I will.  You see that animal over there?”  Louis pointed to a small clearing about 25 yards off the trail.  There was a four legged animal with a shaggy coat of hair, foraging through the snow, looking for something to eat. 

“What is that?” Jacques asked.  He had seen a few of those creatures scattered throughout the forest before.  They made loud noises that scared his children and he didn’t trust them.

“That, my friend, is a donkey.  It was meant to be a beast of burden.  If you make friends with it, it will haul whatever you wish it to.  It may even let you ride it.” 

“I will not make friends with such beasts!” cried Jacques.  “Nobody has ever tried to keep this animal. It is unseemly, for such as I, to descend to such lowness. I would be the laughing stock of the village.”

“I was only trying to help!”  Louis the leprechaun was offended to the highest degree.  “I will leave you now, my friend.  I only hope the next person isn’t quite a thick headed as you!”

“Good riddance, you fool.”  Jacques said under his breath, as Louis disappeared.  He kept walking towards his home.  He grew more miserable by the minute.  He was tired, wanted to eat some good meat, and felt bad for mocking of Louis’s suggestion.

Deep inside him, though, he knew that Louis did not deserve to be treated so rudely.  It is never okay to hurt someone on purpose.  Maybe I need to his suggestion a try, he thought.  Giving up his pride, he turned back hoping the donkey was still in the clearing.  It was.

“Hey, donkey.  Don’t be scared of me.”  In truth, he was more scared of the donkey than it was of him.  He slowly approached it, and held out his hand.  He closed his eyes as it got close.  The donkey stuck its nose under his hand for him to rub.  As he began to scratch the nose, Jacques slowly opened his eyes. 

This isn’t so bad, he thought.  Maybe the leprechaun was right.  He withdrew his hand and looked for something to tie around the donkey’s neck.  He found a thick vine nearby.  Tying it around the neck, he started to lead the donkey down the trail towards the deer.

After finding it again and setting it on the donkey’s back, Jacques and the donkey made it back to the cabin in record time.  Jacques, in particular, was re-energized by his success.  Making it home, his family was overjoyed to see so much meat all at once.  His wife set about immediately to cook some for supper.

Jacques stepped outside to pray to the leprechaun.  After  finishing, he looked up at the night’s sky.  A new shape had appeared in the sky.  The moon was in the shape of a smile.  Jacques had never seen a full moon. 

Since that day, the moon has gone through the different phases.  Humans also started to domesticate and train animals.  Jacques soon added sheep, goats, horses, and cows to his donkey.  Over time he became a very rich man indeed.

To sell is human

I have not done described a book I have been reading for a while but I have been reading a book called "To sell is human" by Daniel Pink, and I wanted to share some thoughts of it.  I love this author as what he writes is interesting and he makes it so easy to understand.  This book is about how every single person is involved in selling each and every day.  He defines selling as trying to get someone to do something that will benefit you.

When most people think of sells and sales people they think of a car sales man, a door to door sells man, or perhaps those annoying Mormon missionaries.  They don't realize that each day we each try to get others to do things.  This is selling.  You may try to convince an investment group to invest in your company, you may try to get a child to learn his ABC's, or you might just ask a sibling to do a chore.

These tasks that many do frequently is in fact selling.  Let's walk through a sales pitch.  It may go something like this:

Salesman: "Hello, my name is ---.  I am going around this neighborhood to see if you would be interested in purchasing this magnificent brush that will reduce the time you spend scrubbing."

Homeowner: "No thanks.  I am not looking for a brush."

Salesman: "Well sir, I have other products that may interest you..."

I could go on, but I want to highlight something important.  The salesperson wanted to do something: he wanted to convince a person to part with something, in this case money, for a product.  He wanted to get the homeowner on his side and convince him to buy a brush or other things from him.

Now, a teacher may not be trying to sell a brush to a student but she might be trying to make learning the ABC's interesting.  She must convince students to part with something, in this case time, in order to learn their letters.  She, in affect, is trying to sell the student on the idea that learning in fun and interesting.

Pink describes in his book how most people view salespeople as annoying, pushy and sometimes mean these words don't necessarily describe sales people today.  People have stereotyped salespeople and now things have changed.

I have not finished the book yet but I would highly recommend it to anyone.  A great way to learn how to move others to get them to do what you want.

What is the big deal with copyrights?

What's the Big Deal About Copyright?

November 14, 2002

Sacramento News & Review
November 14, 2002
http://www.newsreview.com/sacramento/Content?oid=13569
By Scott Hervey

Sometime a musician will ask me, what's the big deal about Copyright and why should I care about it? Shouldn't I just focus on my music rather than worrying about all of this legal mumbo jumbo? Usually I respond by reminding the musician that the second word in music business is “business” and if they are serious about making the most out of their career, they should have a basis understanding of the area of law which governs the medium through which they express themselves. If that doesn't work, I tell them that if they don't have a decent understanding of Copyright law and its affect on how they get paid, they are bound to get the short end of the stick on many a deal. That usually catches their attention.

The Basics

Under the Copyright Act, copyright protection arises when an original work of authorship is fixed in any tangible medium. Ok, what does this all mean?

Only "Original" Works Qualify For Copyright Protection 
The “originality” element for copyright requires only that the work was independently created by the author and that the work possesses at least a minimal degree of creativity. Selection, coordination and arrangement are elements of creativity.

What Constitutes A "Work Of Authorship"
Copyrightable works are books, musical compositions, multimedia works, original art, dramatic productions (including any associated music), motion pictures and other audiovisual works, computer programs, computer databases, Web pages and any other original expression that is fixed in some tangible medium.

In the music industry, the list of what comprises a work of authorship includes a “sound recording” and the composition. It is important that artists understand the distinction between the two, because they are treated very differently under the Copyright Act and in recording contracts. A sound recording is defined in the Copyright Act as works that result from the fixation of a series of musical, spoken or other sounds, regardless of the nature of the object in which the work is embodied. This means that every time an artist goes into the studio and lay down a track, a sound recording is created. And, when the artist or his producer puts all of these tracks together into a finished master, this is also a sound recording. The underlying composition, simply put, are the lyrics and composition that are recorded on the sound recording.

Fixed In Any Tangible Medium
The work of authorship must be fixed in a tangible medium of expression that may be perceived, reproduced, or communicated either directly or with the aid of a machine or device. A work is not fixed unless its embodiment in tangible form is sufficiently permanent or stable to permit it to be perceived, reproduced, or otherwise communicated for a period of more than a transitory duration. The understanding of a tangible medium is simple when it is a writing fixed upon the pages of a book, a painting fixed on a canvas, or a computer program fixed upon a compact disc. The mediums of paper, a canvas or a compact disc are obviously stable and non-transient.

Who is the Owner of a Copyright

Initial Ownership
Ownership vests initially in the author or authors of a work. Usually only the author, or those who derive the rights from the author, can claim copyright protection. Generally, the author is the person who physically creates the work. However, there are some exceptions to this rule: the work for hire doctrine, collective works and joint works.

Works For Hire
Employers are held to own the works of employees who prepare works within the scope of their employment, unless an agreement states otherwise.

The Act defines a “work made for hire” as:

1. A work prepared by an employee prepared within the scope of his or her employment; or

2. A work specially ordered or commissioned for use in at least one of certain enumerated way provided that the parties expressly agree in a written instrument signed by them that the work constitutes a “work made for hire.”

The work for hire doctrine addresses copyright ownership in a work created by an employee or a work commissioned from an independent contractor or other party. Under the work for hire doctrine, the employer enjoys the copyright ownership in the prepared work of an employee. However, an employer who hires an independent contractor does not automatically own an exclusive right in any work created by the independent contractor. To obtain the exclusive rights to the copyrightable work created by an independent contractor, the work must be one of a specific type of work. It must be either a work specially ordered or commissioned for use as a contribution to a collective work, as a part of a motion picture or other audiovisual work, as a translation, as a supplementary work, as a compilation, as an instructional text, as a test, as answer material for a test, or as an atlas. Secondly, there must be a written agreement between the parties which specifically states that the work is a work made for hire. Another way for an employer to obtain the exclusive rights to a copyrightable work created by an independent contractor would be through an assignment.

The work made for hire issue has large implications in the music industry because of the fact that contract musicians and record producers can be considered authors of the sound recording. Therefore, unless an artists wants a contract musician or producer to enjoy separate but equal ownership rights in the sound recording, the agreement employing these individuals should be in writing and should contain a clause which states that the work created by them is considered a “work made for hire.” The agreement should also contain a “back-up” clause which states that in the event the work is not considered a work made for hire, the independent contractor assigns all right, title and interest in the work to the party employing them.

Joint Works
A joint work is where there is more than one author to a copyrightable work. Under a joint work, both authors own the copyrights to that work equally. Each co-author of a joint work has an independent right to use or license the copyright, subject to a duty of accounting to the other co-author. A joint owner cannot be liable to a co-owner for a copyright infringement.

Community Property and Authorship
A non-author spouse in a community property state such as California may have a community property interest in the owner-spouse's work(s). In one case the court held that under California's community property law a copyright can be transferred by operation of law from the owner-spouse to the marital community.

As a Copyright Owner, What Rights Do I Have 
The copyright owner owns, subject to certain exceptions and limitations, exclusive rights to the copyrighted material. The copyright owner has the exclusive right to the following:

1. To reproduce the copyrighted work; and

2. To prepare derivative works based on the copyrighted works;

3. To distribute copies of the copyrighted work to the public by sale or other transfer or ownership or by rental, lease or lending;

4. In the case of literary, musical, dramatic and choreographic works, pantomimes and motion pictures and other audio-visual works, to perform the copyright publicly;

5. In the case of literary, musical, dramatic and choreographic works, pantomimes and pictorial, graphic or sculptural works, including the individual images of motion pictures or other audio-visual works, to display the copyright publicly; and

6. In the case of sound recordings, to perform the copyright work publicly by means of digital audio transmission.

The Copyright Act also provides for specific rights to authors of works of visual art which are usually referred to as rights of attribution and integrity. While these rights aren't applicable to musical works, it is not uncommon for musical performers to dabble (and in some cases become extremely talented) in painting or sculpture (John Lennon, Tony Bennett, etc.) Thus, a brief discussion is in order.

A author of a work of visual art is entitled to claim authorship of his work and also prevent the use of his name on works he did not create. The author also has a limited right to prevent modification or destruction of his work and is also entitled to prevent the use of his name on work that has been distorted to a certain degree. All of these rights can be modified or waived in their entirety by the artist if the artist so agrees in a written agreement

Limitations on Exclusive Rights
There are a number of limitations on the exclusive rights of copyright owners. These limitations effectively carve away at a copyright owner's right to prevent others from exercising one or more of the exclusive rights reserved for copyright owners. A number of these affect the music industry and owners of a copyright inn either sound recordings or compositions.

The owner of the copyright in a sound recording is limited to the rights in 1, 2,3, and 6 above. The copyright owner of a sound recording does not enjoy the exclusive right of public performance. That right is exclusive to the owner of the copyright in the composition. The sound recording copyright owner does have the right to control the creation of derivative works in which the actual sounds fixed in the sound recording are rearranged, remixed or otherwise altered in sequence or quality. (This expressly covers sampling.) However, this would not include creating an independent sound recording which imitates the or simulates the music in the sound recording. (The owner of the copyright in the composition enjoys this right.)

What About All This License Stuff

When third party wants to exercise one of the exclusive rights reserved for a copyright owner, and there is no applicable limitation, this third party has to, essentially, ask permission. In the music industry, a musician asks permission to use other band's music by obtaining a license. The type of license needed depends on how the musician intend to use the music. If the musician plans to re-record another band's music then he must obtain what is called a mechanical license. But if the musician plans to perform the other band's music at clubs, concerts, etc., then the musician needs to obtain what I like to call a performance license (it is really just called a license, but I like to call it a performance license to stress the difference between that and a mechanical license).

Obtaining a mechanical license is not a very daunting task. Because United State's Copyright laws required that once a copyright owner has recorded and distributed a work (i.e., a song) to the U.S. public or has permitted another to do so, the copyright owner is required to grant a license (called a compulsory license) to another else who wants to record and distribute the song. A compulsory license is not free. The U.S. Copyright act provides for the compulsory license only upon payment of a licenses fee (called the statutory compulsory rate). Currently the rate is 8 cents per song for songs five minutes or less, or 1.55 cents per minute for all songs over 5 minutes.

If a musician wants to obtain a mechanical license, the first place to start is the Harry Fox Agency. (www.harryfox.com) The Harry Fox Agency represents publishers by licensing their work and collecting royalties on their behalf. The Harry Fox Agency web site provides a wealth of information and can even process applications for mechanical licenses if Harry Fox represents the artist whose work the musician wants to use.

If Harry Fox does not represent the artist who owns the work the musician wants to use, the musician should contact the artist directly to arrange for a license. If Harry Fox does not represent the artist and the musician either can't get in touch with the artist or the artist refuses to grant a license the musician may still be able to obtain a “compulsory license” from the Copyright Office.

First, a compulsory license can only be obtained from the Copyright Office if the primary purpose is to make a “phonorecord” (statutorily defined as “material objects in which sounds, other than those accompanying a motion picture or other audio visual work are fixed”) for distribution to the public. A compulsory license will allow the musician to create a new musical arrangement of the work. However, such a new arrangement can not change the basic melody or fundamental character of the work.

The process of obtaining a compulsory license can be rather straight forward or complex, depending on a variety of factors.

Obtaining a performance license can be just as simple (or complex) as obtaining the mechanical license. There are a number of different agencies (called performing rights agencies) that license these performance licenses: BMI (www.bmi.com), ASCAP (www.ascap.com) and SESAC (www.sesac.com). Because the performance rights these organizations license vary (live performances, radio play, television, cable, Internet, bars, restaurants, hotels, shopping centers, etc) the rates charged will also vary. The license will have to be obtained from the agency that represents the artist who owns the work to be performed. The website for all three agencies allows users to search the list of artist each society represents.

Copyright Infringement and Remedies

Infringement Basic Definition
Anyone who violates the exclusive rights of the copyright owner is an infringer. However, the copyright owner must have an issued registration in hand prior to filing suit in federal court for copyright infringement. This is one reason why copyright registration is very important. Other reasons to register a copyright include: (a) the registration provides an official record of ownership and provides constructive notice to the public of the facts stated in the registration certificate; (b) if registration occurs within five years of first publication, this is prima facie evidence of the validity of the copyright and the information stated in the certificate; and (c) registration is required in order to be able to recover statutory damages (which requires no proof of actual damages) and attorney's fees.

Copyright Registration
Registration is permissive and may be done at anytime during the life of a copyright. Registration is done with the US Copyright Office.

Application For Registration
Applications to the US Copyright Office for copyright registration require that a form be filled out that is appropriate to the type of work being registered. The forms appropriate to each work which the practitioner will most likely encounter are the following: 1) Form TX for textual works, such as books, transcripts, instruction manuals, computer programs, poems, documentation, essays and articles; 2) Form VA for visual arts works such as paintings, drawings, graphical works, photographs or sculptures; 3) Form SR for sound recordings such as tapes, records, and CDS; 4) Form SE for registering newspapers, serials, periodicals and magazines; 5) Form PA for performing arts works, including dramatic works, audiovisual works (movies, audio tapes) and multi-media products; 6) Form CA is used to supplement registrations, such as to correct errors in a prior registration and 7) Form MW is used to register computer chip designs know as “mask” works. These forms and others, as well as instructions for filling them out can be found on the Copyright Office website athttp://www.loc.gov/copyright/forms/. After the form is filled out, the applicant must pay the filing fee listed on the form and submit two complete deposit copies of the published work as specimens of the work being registered. Unpublished works require that one deposit copy be submitted. Most registrations issue within 6-12 months of filing the application, and are accorded a date of issuance the same as the given initial filing date of the application form.

This article is the copyrighted property of the Sacramento News and Review and they have given Weintraub Genshlea Chediak permission to publish this article in its entirety.