The Lord Has Not Forgotten You

This was a talk given by my former mission president's wife, Linda Reeves, during General Relief Society Meeting on September 29, 2012. She is a member of the General Relief Society of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I thought it was an amazing talk about how much the Lord loves each of us. I hope you enjoy reading it!

Our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ, know us and love us. … We can feel of Their love and compassion in our suffering.

As we meet sisters around the world, we are amazed at the strength of your testimonies. So many of you are first- or second-generation members of the Church. We see many sisters serving in multiple callings, traveling long distances to attend church, and sacrificing to make and keep sacred temple covenants. We honor you. You are the Lord’s modern-day pioneers!

Recently my husband, Mel, and I met a volunteer tour guide named Mollie Lenthal as we visited a museum in Australia. We found out that Mollie, a lovely woman in her 70s, has no children and has never married. She is an only child, and her parents have been deceased for many years. Her closest relatives are two cousins who live on another continent. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with the Spirit testifying to me, almost as if Heavenly Father were speaking: “Mollie is not alone! Mollie is my daughter! I am her Father! She is a very important daughter in my family, and she is never alone!”

One of my favorite stories from the Savior’s life is the story of Lazarus. The scriptures tell us that “Jesus loved Martha, … her sister [Mary], and [their brother] Lazarus.”1 Word was sent to Jesus that Lazarus was very ill, but Jesus did not come immediately; He stayed away two more days, stating that “this sickness is … for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby.”2

Hearing that Jesus was coming, Martha “went and met him,”3 telling Him what had happened. Lazarus had “lain in the grave four days already.”4Grieving, Martha ran back to her home to tell Mary that the Lord had come.5 Mary, weighed down with sorrow, ran to Jesus, fell down at His feet, and wept.6

We are told that “when Jesus therefore saw [Mary] weeping, … he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled,” and asked where they had laid him.

“They said unto him, Lord, come and see.”7

Then we read some of the most compassionate, loving words in scripture: “Jesus wept.”8

Apostle James E. Talmage wrote, “The sight of the two women so overcome by grief … caused Jesus to sorrow [with them] so that He groaned in spirit and was deeply troubled.”9 This experience testifies of the compassion, empathy, and love that our Savior and our Heavenly Father feel for each of us every time we are weighed down by the anguish, sin, adversity, and pains of life.


Dear sisters, our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ, know us and love us. They know when we are in pain or suffering in any way. They do not say, “It’s OK that you’re in pain right now because soon everything is going to be all right. You will be healed, or your husband will find a job, or your wandering child will come back.” They feel the depth of our suffering, and we can feel of Their love and compassion in our suffering.

Alma testified:

“And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

“And he will take upon him … their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, … that he may know … how to succor his people according to their infirmities.”10

When we wonder if we are known by our Savior and our Father in Heaven or how well They know us personally, we might remember the Savior’s words to Oliver Cowdery:

“If you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things.”11

Earlier the Savior stated to him, “There is none else save God that knowest thy thoughts and the intents of thy heart.”12

The Savior reminded Oliver that He knew every detail of that pleading prayer—and remembered the exact time, the very night.

Many years ago my husband became very ill with a rare disease. As the weeks went by and the sicker he became, the more I became convinced that he was dying. I told no one of my fears. We had a large, young family and a loving, eternal marriage, and the thought of losing my husband and raising my children by myself filled me with loneliness, despair, and even anger. I am ashamed to say that I pulled away from my Heavenly Father. For days I quit praying; I quit planning; I cried. I finally came to the realization that I could not do this alone.

For the first time in many days, I knelt down and poured out my heart to my Father in Heaven, pleading for forgiveness for turning away from Him, telling Him all of my deepest feelings, and finally crying out that if this was what He really wanted me to do, I would do it. I knew He must have a plan for our lives.

As I continued on my knees to pour out my heart, the sweetest, most peaceful, loving feeling came over me. It was as if a blanket of love was flowing over me. It was as if I could feel Heavenly Father saying, “That was all I needed to know.” I determined never to turn away from Him again. Gradually and amazingly, my husband began to get better until he made a full recovery.

Years later my husband and I knelt by the side of our 17-year-old daughter and pleaded for her life. This time the answer was no, but that same feeling of love and peace that our Savior has promised was just as powerful, and we knew that even though Heavenly Father was calling her back home, everything would be all right. We have come to know what it means to cast our burdens upon the Lord, to know that He loves us and feels compassion for us in our sorrows and pain.

One of the sweetest father-to-son moments in the Book of Mormon is Alma the Younger’s testimony to his son Helaman. Alma described the “inexpressible horror” he felt as he imagined coming into the presence of God to be judged of his many transgressions. After feeling the weight of all his sins for three days and nights, he repented and pleaded with the Savior to have mercy on him. He described to Helaman the “exquisite and sweet” joy of remembering his pains “no more.” Instead of feeling “inexpressible horror” at the thought of coming before the throne of God, Alma saw a vision of “God sitting upon his throne” and declared, “My soul did long to be there.”13

Is that not how we feel, my dear sisters, as we repent and contemplate the love, the mercy, and the gratitude we feel for our Heavenly Father and our Savior—that we too “long to be there,” to be embraced by Their loving arms once again?

Just as the Lord has testified to me that He has not forgotten His precious daughter Mollie Lenthal, I testify that He has not forgotten you! Whatever sin or weakness or pain or struggle or trial you are going through, He knows and understands those very moments. He loves you! And He will carry you through those moments, just as He did Mary and Martha. He has paid the price that He might know how to succor you. Cast your burdens upon Him. Tell your Heavenly Father how you feel. Tell Him about your pain and afflictions and then give them to Him. Search the scripturesdaily. There you will also find great solace and help.

Our Savior asked:

“For can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. …

“… I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands.”14

“I have commanded that none of you should go away, but rather have commanded that ye should come unto me, that ye might feel and see; even so shall ye do unto the world.”15

That is our charge. We must feel and see for ourselves and then help all of Heavenly Father’s children to feel and see and know that our Savior has taken upon Himself not only all our sins but also our pains and our suffering and afflictions so that He can know what we feel and how to comfort us. I testify of Him in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

books

With less than a week left in the year I thought it would be cool to show how many books I have started and finished reading this year.  It's a long list.  This year I have learned a lot from history, literature, and many other great sources.  If any of my readers are bored this next year, please feel free to read any books on this list.  I highly recommend any and all of them!


Books for 2012:
The Biggest Brother by Larry Alexander
Faith of Our Fathers: A House Divided by Nancy Allen
Faith of Our Fathers: To Make Men Free by Nancy Campbell Allen 
Faith of Our Fathers: Through the Perilous Fight by Nancy Campbell Allen
Faith of Our Fathers: One Nation Under God by Nancy Campbell Allen
Pegasus Bridge by Stephan Ambrose
Hanging by the Thread by Donald Anderson
Abraham Lincoln: God’s Humble Instrument by Ron L. Anderson
Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews
Leadership and Self Deception by Arbinger Institute
Archimedes
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
All the President’s Men by Bernstein
An Enemy Hath Done This by Ezra Taft Benson
Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown
Deception Point by Dan Brown
Digital Fortress by Dan Brown
Dear and Glorious Physician by Taylor Caldwell
How to win friends and influence people by the Carnegie Institute 
Our Sacred Honor by Paul Carter
The Times That Try Men's Souls by Paul Carter
The Robe by Lloyd Douglas
As a Man Thinketh by John Dewey
Magnificent Obsession by Lloyd Douglas
The Three Muskateers by Alexandre Dumas
Cesaer and Christ by Will Durant
Mindset by Carol Dweck
First  Family by Joseph Ellis
Founding Brothers by Joseph Ellis
Hank the Cow dog: Case of the Fiddling Fox by John Erickson
Hank the Cow dog: Case of the Bone Monster
The Ascent of Money by Niall Ferguson
Civilization by Niall Ferguson
Papa Married a Mormon by John D. Fitzgerlard
J. Edgar Hoover: The Man and the Secrets by Curt Gentry
10 Days That Unexpectedly Changed America by Steven M. Gillon
The Swerve: How the World Became Modern by Stephen Greenblatt
Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris
October Sky by Homer Hickham
The Coalwood Way by Homer Hickham
Sky of Stone by Homer Hickham
Back to the Moon by Homer Hickham
The Jack Rabbit Factor by Leslie Householder
The Great Conversation by Robert Hutchins
Redwall by Brian Jacques
Profiles in Courage for our time by Caroline Kennedy
The Ugly American by William J. Lederer
Bendigo Shafter by Louis L’Amour
The Education of a Wandering Man by Louis L’Amour
The Walking Drum by Louis L’Amour
Endurance: Shackelton's Incredible Voyage by Alfred Lansing
The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis 
Mathematicians Lament by Paul Lockhart
And There Was Light by Jacques Lusseyran
The Greatest Miracle in the World by Og Mandino
The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino
Are you Liberal, Conservative, or Confused? An Uncle Eric Book by Richard Maybury
Thousand Years War by Richard Maybury
The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell\
Dream Team by Jack McCallum
1776 by David McCullough 
History of the World in 100 Objects by Neil McGregor
The Big Scrum: How Teddy Roosevelt saved Football by John J. Miller
Driven by Larry H. Miller
The Curse of the Viking Grave by Farley Mowat
With Malice towards None by Stephen Oates
Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates us by Daniel PinkThe Scarlet Pimpernel by Emmuska Orczy
Plato’s Apology
Plato’s Crito
12 Pillars of Success by Jim Rohn and Chris Widener
On the Wealth of Nations by P.J. O’Rourke
A Treasury of Philosophy by Dragobert Runes
The Price of Civilization by Jeffrey Sachs
German Boy by Wolfgang Samuel
Rise to Rebellion by Jeff Shaara
The Rising Tide by Jeff Shaara
The Steel Wave by Jeff Shaara
No Less Than Victory by Jeff Shaara*
The Final Storm by Jeff Shaara
Killer Angels by Michael Shaara
The Making of America by W. Cleon Skousan
The Naked Communist by W. Cleon Skousan
Decade of Hope by Dennis Smith
7 Tipping Points That Saved The World by Chris Stewart
The Fourth Turning by William Strauss
Difficult Conversations by Stone, Patton and Heen
The Great Apostasy by James E. Talmage
Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmadge
The Last Patriot by Brad Thor
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
It's Just My Nature! by Carol Tuttle
Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc by Mark Twain
The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkenson
All the President’s Men by Bob Woodward
The Brethren by Bob Woodward
The Secret Man by Bob Woodward
Shadow: 5 Presidents and the Legacy of Watergate by Bob Woodward 
Pillar of Fire by David G. Woolley
Power of Deliverance by David G. Woolley
Place of Refuge by David G. Woolley
Day of Remembrance by David G. Woolley
Swiss Family Robinson by Johann David Wyss

classics

I read this today in the intro to The Three Musketeers.  I loved it!


Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could know whether a book or movie, tape or CD was worthwhile just by looking at it?  Imagine what it would be like if every form of entertainment, every work of art, had a special label on it that said 'this is the good stuff' a label you could actually trust to tell you: 'This is really worth it.  This is the best there is.'
Imagine the hours of time you'd save.  You'd be browsing in a bookstore or record shop, looking at the weekend movie ads, considering a concert or play, and you'd see that label and relax, knowing your time wouldn't be wasted.
There actually is such a label - at least for books.  The label is classic.
It means 'of the highest quality,' or 'of enduring interest and value.' You've heard the word before, used for everything from soft drinks and sporting events to hairstyles and antique cars.  But it's also used to describe something that's one of the best examples of its kind, whether it's the dialogues of Plato, the music of Mozart, the architecture of the Renaissance, or a cherry-red 1957 Thunderbird convertible.
When book publishers use the word classic to describe a book, they really mean it.  There's a kind of honor system operating.  They've set aside that word solely for books that have passed the test of time, that really are among the best works of their kind ever written.  The book you're holding in your hands is one of those books.
Unfortunately, a lot of people think 'classic' means something else.  They think it means 'old' or 'boring.'  As a result, they miss out on some of the most interesting, engaging stories ever told.
It's not too difficult to figure how this idea got around.  First, it's a fact that a lot of 'classics' are 'old' in a purely chronological sense.  They were written fifty or a hundred and fifty years ago, and some people think a story has to be brand-new to be interesting.
Second, some of the people recommending that you read 'classics' are the same people who recommend that you brush your teeth, or wear a motorcycle helmet, or save your money for the future -  things that are good for you, but not all that much fun.  So it's not surprising that people, especially young people, are suspicious when someone tells them that a book that's required reading in school is actually enjoyable.
But it happens to be true.
To explain why it's true, it might be helpful to explain how a book becomes a 'classic' in the first place.  There's a very simple answer.  People keep reading it.  People just like you.  It's like a popularity contest, or a public opinion poll, except that it goes on year after year, generation after generation.  A book that people are still reading a hundred and fifty years after it was first published has to have something going for it to keep people interested.
Another reason books become classics is that they are genuinely entertaining.  People who take time to read the classics are usually pleasantly surprised to discover just how interesting they really.....
Imagine what it would be like to be a child, abandoned in the jungles of India, facing certain death from the deadly predators that prowl its paths.  Suddenly, when you're certain you can't survive another day, you are rescued by a she-wolf who brings you home to her pack, raises you a one of her own, and teaches you the languages of the forest animals.  That's just one of the stories of Rudyard Kipling tells in his Jungle book.
What if you were a brilliant scientist who had discovered a secret serum that unlocked the wildest passions of the human soul? Would you take the risk of testing it on yourself, knowing that it might transform you into a hideous, violent monster?  That's one of the questions Robert Louis Stevenson answers in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
What would you do if a lucky punch from a local bully knocked you all the way back to the time of Merlin the Magician? Would you dare to challenge the awesome power of his dark sorcery with stage magic and modern-day science? That's what happens to the hero of Mark Twain's A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.
How would you survive if you found yourself trapped in a deadly, prehistoric world in a hidden cavern at the Earth's core, menaced by deadly creatures and warlike giants?  That's the problem a band of explorers faces in Jules Verne's Journey to the Center of the Earth.
These stories don't sound boring, do they?
One proof that classics contain really exciting stories is that contemporary writers 'borrow' ideas from classic works all the time when they are creating new ones.  When you see a killer-dinosaur book like Jurassic Park, you can bet that the author, Michael Crichton, read, and loved Sire Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World when he was a boy.The 'Back to the Future; movies might never have been made if filmmaker Bob Zemekis hadn't enjoyed H. G. Wells' The Time Machine.  Danielle Steel probably wouldn't be writing the kind of romances that can hug at your heartstrings if she hadn't read, and cried over, books like Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights when she was younger.  And you can be sure that Stephan King learned much of what he knows about terrifying people from the stories of Edgar Allen Poe which scared him when he  was a boy.
Another mark of a classic, then, is that it can inspire an entire branch of literature, like Westerns of romances.  The mystery novel as we know it wouldn't exist if Sir Arthur Conan Doyle hadn't created his master detective Sherlock Holmes.  All of those books in the science fiction section might not be there today if it weren't for the works of Jules Verne and H. G. Wells.
If the classics only offered engrossing entertainment, they'd be well worth your time.  But they have a lot more to offer.
To begin with, classics are better written  than most other books.  This may seem obvious, but it's worth mentioning.  One of the qualities that causes a book to endure decade after decade is that the author put extra care into choosing each word, into creating real, believable characters, into giving them genuine human emotions and challenging problems to solve.
You can sense this special attention to the language the minute you begin reading a classic like Mark Twain's Tom Sawyer or Nathaniel Hawthorne's The House of the Seven Gables.  The worlds you're reading about is suddenly vivid and compelling and real, as real as the world you live in every day - and sometimes more so.
It's the difference between a musician who goes through the emotions and one who really knows his stuff, the difference between fast food and cuisine.  If you're a serious reader, you can very quickly grow tired of sloppy writing, predictable plots, and cheap literary storytelling.  The classics guarantee great prose as well as great storytelling.
If you've ever thought of becoming a writer yourself, as a hobby or as a profession, you can't find a better place to study writing techniques than in the classics.  No writer has describe the bone-chilling cold of an Artic night more effectively than Jack London.  No one brings the perilous life of the sea or the exotic locales of the Far East to life more vividly than Rudyard Kipling.
You can think of the classics as time machines that instantly transport you to faraway times and places at the turn of a page.  You can travel with Robert Louis Stevenson about the pirate ships of the Caribbean in Kidnapped.  Race around the world with a daring gambler in Jules Verne's Around the World in 80 Days.  Witness London devastated by a ruthless Martian invasion in H. G. Wells' The War of the Worlds.
There's one other reason that the classics have endured as long as they have.  In fact, it's the most important reason of all.
Books become classics, and stay classic, because they tell us something about ourselves.  The authors whose works are represented in this series understand the human heart better than most of the writers working today.  They might not have experienced the events they're writing about first hand, but they have the ability to put themselves in someone else's place, and somehow convey what that sort of a person is feeling.
Stephan Crane was never a soldier himself.  But in The Red Badge of Courage, he used his knowledge of human emotions to convey what it was like to be a green recruit facing enemy guns in a bloody war, praying he'd be strong enough not to turn and run when the battle began, not to disgrace himself in the eyes of his peers.
Although Mary Mapes Dodge was never a world-famous ice skater, she was able to express in Hans Brinker, or the Silver Skates how it felt to be a gifted athlete for whom sport mattered more than anything in the world.  She understood what it was like to be facing cutthroat competition, to force yourself to go on when your body was crying out for rest.
In Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain used his writer's gift to make the reader feel what it was like to have a cruel and hurtful father, as Huck did, and to want to escape from a harsh existence.  And he was able to convey what it was like for Huck's friend Jim, a runaway slave, to be hated and punished just because he was different from other people.
In Little Women, Louisa May Alcott was able to express what it was like to be a young woman in the last century, fighting for a place in a world dominated by men.  She understood what it was like to have a dream so strong you would risk anything to try to make it come true, as Jo Marsh did when she decided to become a journalist.
Then the world grows too difficult to bear, it's sometimes helpful to get a bit of perspective, to see how people dealt with life's problems, and its opportunities, in other times and places.  The classics offer fresh viewpoints on the human condition, showing how other people dealt with heartbreak and shame, greed and ambition, anger and terror.  While you're wrapped up in the dreams and fears of a pauper on the streets of sixteenth century London, or an awkward schoolteacher in eighteenth century New York State, you may find a solution to your own worries and problems.  Or, if not, you may at least find an escape from them that gives you time to take a breather and gather the strength to go on.
So next time you see a book labeled a 'classic' whether it comes from this publisher or another one, you might benefit from taking a second look at it before passing on to the latest packaged series or television spin off.  The world you'll find inside the pages of that book is likely to be richer, deeper, and more moving than anything else in the bookstore.
The important thing to remember is that it's your choice, not anyone else's.  By choosing this book, you've become part of the process that makes books classics.  If this story works for you, as it has for previous generations of readers, if you enjoy it and recommend it to your friends - maybe even your kids someday - you'll be part of the chain that caused it to be here for you.
And if it turns out that it's not to your liking, you may recommend some newer book that does work for you, a work that stays in print and goes on to become one of the classics of the next century.  It's up to you to decide.

California Trip

So this past weekend I took a trip to California.  It was a blast.  I originally went on my mission to Riverside, CA.  After about a year of being home I wanted to go back.  Because I served a rather short mission, I only wanted to visit one area: Palm Desert.  I also wanted to see San Diego and other sights that I didn't get to as a missionary.

So first I had to find someone to go with and share the expense of gas with.  I was fortunate enough to serve around a missionary named Elder Howell for 6 months, or 4 transfers in the desert.  He was my favorite missionary, and I wish I could have been comps with him, but he was a Spanish missionary.  I did get to for a weekend when I had no companion.  That weekend was awesome.  His first name is Ryan, but it's kind of awkward for me to call him that.  He calls me Summit, and I call him comp, or Howell.

Anyways, we had originally planned on going with my brother, who wasn't able to.  So it was just the two of us.  About a month before I almost decided not to go as my best friend's missionary farewell was that Sunday that I was going to be gone.  I wanted to be there to support him, but something told me to go.  I believe it was the Spirit.

On our way down to California we ran into a huge storm.  It was snowing from Provo to St. George and raining after Vegas for the rest of the trip.  It was hard to stay awake, as I had had 3 hours of sleep prior to leaving.  But we made it safely.

We stayed with a member named Rey, who lives in Morino Valley.  Rey is awesome.  I wish I had known him as a missionary.  He drove us to San Diego, which was awesome.  We attended a temple session and took a bunch of pictures.  That temple is the temple I want to get married in, I've decided.  Now to find the girl to take there!

After the temple we went to Carlsbad to see the Pacific Ocean.  It was the first time I had ever seen an ocean.  I went to Washington D.C. as a teenager, but never saw the actual ocean.  I saw the Potomac River.
I took quite a few pictures, including a video of me sticking my hand in the serf.  Now I can die happy.. :)

After the beach I went out the desert.  Howell stayed in MoVal to visit some people there.  I went and visited the Smiths that night. They were one of my favorite families there.  They fed us dinner most Saturday nights.  Another Elder was visiting them with his parents: Elder Daniel.  He had come out to the desert to replace me.  So we talked for a while about the area after I had left.  He told me of some people we had taught, and other things about the area.  It was awesome visiting with him.

That night I stayed in a hotel, which was nice.  Their breakfast doesn't compare to the one of the hotel I work at.  We have a much better one.  I went to church at the Park View Ward, which was my favorite ward of all time.  There were so many people I knew and got to say hi to.  As more people arrived many recognized me and shook my hand.  The bishop came over and asked how so many people knew me.  I told him I had served in that area.

I must confess that I am not that great of a returned missionary.  I went to In-n-Out on Sunday.  It was the only time I had time too.  I love that place.  It is sooo good.  But after church I went to see the Willinsky's.  Rick and Maggie are some of my favorite people in the world.  Rick isn't a member, (yet) but he is so cool  We visited for a while then I went to the Lewis's.  I showed them pictures of when I was there.  I miss them. I loved living behind them.

After the Lewis's I went to dinner at the Jackson's.  She also invited the sister missionaries over.  It was fun to visit with them and Sister Jackson.  She was like a second mom to me when I was a new missionary.  We would eat at their house most Mondays.

After visiting with Sister Jackson I finally got ahold of Jessica Mercado, who was my first convert.  I didn't have her number to call before hand, so I had to ask around to get it.  But I finally did, and she took me to a mexican restraunt because she said she didn't have food at her house.  I didn't know this but she and her husband Ron have a 1 year old baby.  I am soooo glad I got to see Jessica.  That made my whole trip worth it.

So Monday we drive back to Indio, over an hour out of our way home, to see a convert of Elder Howell.  They feed us breakfast, which makes it worth it.  We drive 11 hours to reach Provo around 8.  After parting with Howell I go out to Erda, to stay the night at my friend Brian's house.

All in all, it was a crazy weekend.  I maybe slept 20 hours in 96 and drove 1,500 miles during that time.
I visited the ocean and was within 30 miles of Idaho.  But it was worth it!

family history

Lately while working at the hotel I've been doing some family history research.  I got the idea a while ago while trying to think of something I could do that would be worth while while sitting for 8 hours a night.  I don't want to waste my time and need something to occupy a lot of time.  So my mom suggested doing family history.

Since my mom's parents both have most of their ancestors traced back to the early 1800's and 1700's, I don't know that I could do much on that side.  My dad has ton's of work to do for his side though.  He assigned me to work on his Scott side of the family.  This is where my name comes from.  His grandma Bertha, so my great grandmother, was a Scott.  He has a ton of information on them, but needs it entered into family search and paf.

While doing this I've found some records, photos and other documents about my great-grandmothers family.  It's pretty neat to learn where they came from.  I find it interesting to learn the ancestors names, and I can tell you where most were born on this line of the family.  I spent probably 10 hours researching birth, marriage and death dates.  Imagine my disappointment when I found out we already had all of the information I've spent a bit of time finding again!

So now I am going through the folder containing all of the information we have on that line of the family.  We have a newspaper click from a long time ago, I can't find a date on it, that tells about my great-grandma's grandfather and how we came to live in Missouri.  That's pretty cool that we still have something that is probably close to 100 years old.

I want to mention something that many find weird about me.  I love to collect things.  Most kids collect rocks, stamps, coins, or other things.  But most will out grow them by their late teen years.  I collected old birthday cards, thank you notes, and other memento's.  I kept a scrapbook on my mission.  I took all of the digital pictures my parents have of me and now I have them.  I don't know why, but I want my kids and grand kids to always remember me in 100 years.

I think this is something that most people want: to make a lasting impression on this earth.  They want to have their kids remember them.  Because this life seems to go by with astonishing velocity as you get older.  We realize that we will get replaced by someone else.  Many dictator's wanted to make their names known for centuries after they died.  They believed that to be remembered was glory.

To a certain extent, that is true. We remember the Babylonians, the Persians  the Greeks, the Romans.  They conquered huge chucks of the earth.  They created amazing civilizations.  We in the present day study them, their ways of life, their system's of government.  We remember Cesaer, Jesus, and other great leaders.

Why do we do this?  We have many great leaders among us today.  I doubt many ancient people know where Jesus really was.  He was a prophet among the Jews.  The Jewish population in the world at the time was relatively small.  So why is he so famous today?  I think it is because his followers told others, and those others told others, so on and so forth.  Over time the truly great leaders and people get remembered, while those who did less grand and great things are left, to be forgotten.

I am very grateful to a Heavenly Father who loves everyone.  He knows the lowest slave, and the great leaders of this world.  He knows us as no one else can know us.  I may not be a great leader, and probably won't make it into any history book that is taught from in schools, but I am just as important as the next guy.

This is the reason I want to do family history:  I want to remember my ancestors.  I want to try to find out about them, to remember them.  I don't think any made it into history books, but they were real people.  Because without them I would not be alive today.

thoughts

Here are some of my random thoughts running through my head.

                                                                     Church:  

Last night my friend Rob and I were discussing church.  We both made some comments about how boring we think church is.  I personally don't like Sunday school because I feel it's boring, and I have a hard time not falling asleep because I'm tired all of the time.  He didn't like how his ward members would take forever in the halls between classes, so that they never started on time.

I agree with his complaint.  In my singles ward we start at 1, and we never start Sunday school until 2:30.  Sometimes that is due to sacrament getting out late, but still.  Some people arrive early, and slowly the room fills up.  And it always seems like groups of people have a hard time sitting next to someone they aren't familiar with.  They will most often sit with a single seat in between them.  This causes groups of friends that come late to have to break up.  I'm not saying this is bad, but just something I've noticed.  I think people need to arrive at church early to catch up on the latest gossip, sports and other activities in their friends lives, rather than in the hallways between classes.

One down side to starting late is that the teacher has to start late.  It always seems like there is so much for the teacher to discuss and there is never enough time.  Many teachers stress about their lesson the week before, so why not show the cutesy of showing up in a timely manner?  I get that some may need to use the restroom, or get a drink.  But it is unreasonable to think that it takes 20 minutes to do so.

My next topic is books.  There are so many genres of books I don't think I know all of them.  There are probably at least 100 million books currently out there throughout the world.  Many of them are by authors who won't be well known, who will probably do something else for a livelihood.  But I just want to say thanks to all writers, because they have probably been an indirect influence in my life.

I love reading.  It is something I can say I'm truly passionate about.  I love talking about ideals, and life in general.  The written word is how things are passed from person to person, along with the spoken word. Writing is key to success in the world today.  

I have recently been posting about a list of 50 books I believe everyone should read.  These are just books that I have read, and have influenced me.  They have played a role in who I am today.  Of course, I am biased, since I am only thinking of me when creating this list.

There is a set of book, 55 in all, that is called The Great Books of the Western World.  These are a collection of books and essays, both ancient and modern.  In the 1950's some scholars got together and created a list of 55 authors who have influenced the West significantly through their writing.  They start with Homer of ancient Greece, and end with the late 1800's.  I have read several of the authors, and have enjoyed them.

I believe that a love of reading is being lost in America.  I look at my friends and very few of them have a passion for reading.  Tonight I went home teaching, and the girl we visited said she loved to read.  We talked briefly about books, until my companion said he didn't like reading at all.  My friend Rob doesn't either.  Most of my friends rarely read for pleasure.  I think this is sad.

Reading has taken me many places I haven't been to or probably won't ever get to visit.  I've been to Rome in The Da Vinci Code, the Wild West with Louis L'Amour, China in Wild Swans and many other places.  The stories are incredible.  I believe people are missing out.

So I have heard a few people claim a library is a waste of tax money.  I disagree strongly with that opinion.  I think reading is key to civilizations future.  We need to stay educated to stay free.  Sure there is a lot of junk out there, books that won't help out in life.  But most won't hurt you either.  You need to be able to read to stay free.  Books help transfer information, ideas.

50 books explained

In keeping with earlier posts, this one will be on my list of 50 books.

7.  Hanging by the Thread by Donald Anderson

  I loved reading this book.  Donald Anderson uses a compelling story line to teach pretty powerful lesson.  The story begins with a man losing a document in the Utah state capital building.  The man, frantic, tries to leave the country.  He doesn't make it far.
  A little after the document is lost, Colton finds it, not knowing what it is.  He asks his friend, Jeff, to help him understand the meaning of it.  They can't alone, so they contact a BYU economics professor.  The professor helps them uncover a secret plot to take over America.  

  They discover that a secret group, nicknamed The Thread, has been slowly infiltrating the American government, whose goal is to eliminate freedom.  The first freedoms to go are economic.  The freedom to hire who business owners want, excessive taxes, government take over of certain powerful companies.  These have already been lost.  The document names several other freedoms to take later.  It also tells of impending crisis that are to take place over the next two days.  

   Once The Thread knows who has the document, they try desperately to get it back.  One of their own members becomes members of the Colton and Jeff's band.  Colton and Jeff contact Colton's uncle to help them.  They, with the BYU professor, and two other friends try hiding.  That doesn't work for long.  The Thread have access to government technology at their disposal.  They locate them, and trick them into a trap. 

  Well, Colton realizes that they are in a trap and he and his uncle help the group escape.  While they are escaping explosions go off in Seattle, New York and Los Angeles.  The last one is going off in Salt Lake City, where Colton and his uncle happen to be.  By chance, they locate the bomb and take it away from the city.  In the end Colton and his uncle are hired by the government to track down members of The Thread.

  This summary is brief, as I wanted to talk about what the book is really about.  In the book Donald Anderson has Dr. Isaacson, the BYU professor, talk extensively about economic freedom, and why it is important.  The book is fairly thick, about 350 pages.  The last half of the book, however, are devoted to lectures on the importance of economic freedom.  I think that America today has lost a vast majority of our economic power.  The government taxes very extensively, making prices higher.  It regulates many industries, making it harder to produce lower cost goods.  If a company is cheating, they catch them.  

  What is wrong with the government ensuring that food companies provide safe food, some may ask?  Nothing is wrong with that part of government regulations.  It is where they seem to regulate everything else, that is the problem.  

  The governments role should never be, and was not intended to be by our founding fathers, to take on the role of protector.  If you don't agree with a company's procedures or products, don't buy them.  If enough people boycott a certain company, it will not succeed.  That didn't happen recently, when the government took over control of several automobile companies.  Some say that it would have been disaster had those companies gone out of business.  

  It may have been, but if a company cannot make money it should not be in business.  If I own a small business, and I don't make enough money, I should go out of business or try something new.  If the government is there to help me out, I'm not likely to try very hard to please people.  I won't try my hardest to provide the cheapest, best service in town.

  I highly recommend this book.  It a very easy read.  I read it in about 3 hours.  Really worth it because of the lessons learned within its pages.

20.  October Sky by Homer Hickham

  I bought this book in the spring at the DI, based solely off of what I'd seen the movie.  The movie is great.  I had like how a boy from West Virginia could success and accomplish his dreams.  I bought it and it sat in my room for several months.
  The first day in July I decided to start reading it because I was bored and didn't have anything else to read. The story is about a boy, Homer Hickham.   He is named after his father, but everyone calls him Sunny.  He is an adventursome youth, having all the typical trials and fun times that comes with being young.
  When the Russians launched the first Sputnik into space Sunny was captivated by it.  He thought it was the coolest thing in the world, making things fly into space.  He began to dream about being a scientist at NASA, helping the US win the space war with Russia.
  Because he had a dream, he began to take an interest in science.  He and his friends formed a rocket launching club, eventually making rockets fly about 1 mile in the air.  They began with a series of failures, as should be expected.  But they find a substance that they named "rocket candy" that could be purchased cheaply.
  But there was a problem: the boys lived in West Virginia, in coal country.  The coal company owned all the homes, equipment in town and most of the land.  There was no place for launching rockets.  Sunny's father was the mine superintendent  and he could have allowed them to launch their rockets.  But he resisted at first, giving into later pressures.  He allowed them to launch their rockets outside of town.
  Launching rockets brought the boys trouble, though.  One day the rocket they launched disappeared, and they were unable to find it.  At the same time a forest fire started nearby, and the boys were blamed for it.  Unable to prove their innocence, they were forced to stop launching rockets.  This was a dark time for Sunny, as the girl he had a crush on started going out with Jim, his older brother.  Jim was a star on the football team.
  One day in the spring the science teacher asks  Sunny how rocket launching was going.  He admitted they hadn't done anything for a while.  The teacher, Miss Riley, gave Sunny a book on trigonometry.  She wanted him to start teaching it to himself, as he would need it to build rockets.  When Sunny starts learning trig he realizes that the rocket could not possibly have started the forest fire.  Excited, he goes to school the next day and proves that that the rocket boys, as he and his friends called themselves, and their rocket did not start the fire.
  The book ends on a high note, with Sunny going to Indiana and winning a national science fair.  He took display of rockets. On the day before the judging begins someone steals Sunny's rocket molds.  He nearly faints when he finds out.  He calls home, wanting to give up, but his friends and neighbors all come together in the effort to get him new molds.  They arrive just in time, and Sunny wins the fair.
  I like this book a lot.  I think it shows us how determination to realize our goals, how to dream big.  Sunny had every reason to give up building rockets, but he kept trying and trying until he succeeded.  The book does have some more adult parts, parts that shouldn't be included in it at all.  The movie does a good job in cutting those out.  So be careful of how early a teenager reads this.  There really only are a few parts, but otherwise a fantastic book.

50 books explained

41. The Naked Communist by W. Cleon Skousen

Cleon Skousen is one of my favorite authors. This book is about, as you can tell by the title, communism. The naked part comes because, as he explains in his introduction, he wants to expose the evils of communism, or break it down so anyone can see it for what it is. At first my siblings would question why it was about a naked person. It's not.

In this book Skousen starts out with a basic history about communism. I won't go into detail here, as you can find this information elsewhere. I grew up being told communism was evil, how Karl Marx was not a righteous person. I have heard that communism and the Law of Consecration have a lot in common.

Communism seeks at its heart to promote social equality. Karl Marx didn't like capitalism, which was the prevailing economical system in his day. He believed it favored the wealthy, which it does. He wanted to create a system where everyone would be equal, where no one would be socially or economically above anyone else. No one would individually own property. Everything was to be owned in common. He obviously didn't see anything wrong with taking from the rich and giving to the poor. The government was only to be in place long enough to enforce this equality.

But Marx failed to see, or he chose to ignore, basic human nature. Once a man gains a little power over another, the natural tendency is to increase that power for self-gratification. Doctrine and Covenants 121:39 states: "We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion."

Because of this, any time a people have overthrown whatever type of government they were previously under, and established a communist one in its' place, communism has failed to progress like Marx said it would. Once property rights had been abolished, then paradise was supposed to insue. No more government. But look at Russia, China, North Korea. They still have communist government, many years later. Communism is a failed economical/political solution to the worlds problems.

32. The Thousand Years War by Richard Maybury

This is another Richard Maybury classic. Following his other books Whatever Happened to Penny Candy? and Whatever Happened to Justice?, this is his best book yet. In this book he discusses why the United States currently military personnel in the Middle East. The book is so titled because he claims that the West, meaning Western Europe and now the United States, has been constantly at war with Muslims since the Crusades.

In the year 1095 Pope Urban II sanctioned an army invading Jerusalem, freeing it from Muslim control. Jerusalem is sacred to 3 major world religions: Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. Thus, Pope Urban II wanted this site to be reserved for Christians. There were a series of invading armies sent from Europe, with varied successes. In the end, Jerusalem ended up staying in control of the Muslims.

Maybury makes the point in this book that Muslims don't forgive or forget very easily. They remember the crusades. They didn't like enemies invading what they consider their holy land.

How do the crusades influence today's politics? Well, ever since the crusades Europe and the Muslim countries in the Middle East have been in a state of a quasi war. During the late middle ages Muslim pirate would capture European vessels unless the rulers paid them bribes. Many ships were lost because the kings and queens refused to pay the pirates. The Europeans soon found it was cheaper and easier to just pay the ransom rather than bother with rescue efforts.

In 1801 the US ships started to ply the Mediterranean Sea, trading with nations in that part of the world. Well, the pirates from North Africa captured several American ship. Thomas Jefferson, who was known for maintaining a small government, sent the US navy to North Africa to free the American prisoners. They did so, and the Americans forces the North African pirates to sign a treaty saying that Americans could trade in the Mediterranean Sea without interference from pirates.

Well, this began a tradition for the US: that we would send armed forces to protect our interests worldwide. Since that time we have sent forces in both world wars, to Korea, Vietnam, and Iraq and Afghanistan. Our forces currently in the Middle East were not sent there to protect our freedom, but to protect national interests.

Most Muslims don't like the US. It's not very hard to see why. The US government has a habit of setting up governments in the Middle East that the people don't want. Many times the US backs a dictator just so we can get their oil. In Iraq we set up a democracy. If the common people had WANTED a democracy I'm sure they would fight a bloody revolution, just like Americans did, to achieve it. If they truly wanted freedom they would take whatever steps were necessary to gain it. Why do we, as Americans, feel the need to poke the power of our military where it does not belong?

So our nation is in Iraq and Afghanistan to fight for our freedom. I find this hard to believe. What freedoms are being threatened on the other side of the world? Al Qaeda, a terrorist organization, is said to be the target of this war. How do you identify who is a member of Al Qaeda, and who is not? To eliminate this group you would have to find them.

Maybury makes this point quite clear in the book. He says that to achieve the goal of eliminating terrorists we would have to eliminate millions of people. He claims the Arabs are in a state of guerrilla warfare. This means they don't find in organized groups; they get into small bands and harass the enemy. It is next to impossible to defeat such an enemy.

Maybury suggests that we leave the Middle East alone. Why do we need to be the world police and make people like us? If someone came into the US and set up a dictator that nobody like how would we react? I'd react like the Muslims: I would hate the country or nation that created the dictatorship. Why should we expect the Muslims to be different?

50 books explained

Two posts ago I listed 50 books I believe everyone should read.  In the next series of posts I will explain why I have put down some of the books on that list.

21.  The jackrabbit factor by Leslie Householder

  I read this book at the suggestion of Heather Hansen.  About the same time I was reading this book I was reading 'the dream giver' and 'the greatest miracle in the world'.  I was struggling with personal things at the time, and this book helped a lot.  I was looking for a job, which today can be very discouraging.
  The books plot is fairly simple: a family is struggling financially, and the husband and wife have a fight.  The husband feels like a failure.  He can't keep his wife and kids fed.  He stalks away, and falls asleep angry, and has a dream.
  In the dream he is part of a crowd that keeps moving and picking up sacks.  In the sacks are things that bring pleasure; food, water, clothing.  The crowd keeps moving, never stopping.  They are always hurrying, always wanting more.  The man notices a few who break away from the crowd chasing rabbits.  He wonders why some are breaking away despite what the majority of the crowd thinks of them.
  He eventually breaks away and learns the secret of catching jackrabbits.  You have to first believe that the opportunity will come for you to catch a rabbit, and once it comes you have to stretch out and grab it.  Once he learns the secret he wakes up, and becomes financially successful.
  The rabbits represent opportunity.  The world is full of opportunities for us to expand, to break away from the crowd, so to speak.  The important thing that I learned from this book is that this world is a world of plenty.  Even though the economy may not be at peak level, everyone can be successful.  You need to first believe and understand this very important principle.  Once I realized this, I starting believing that I would find a job.  Within 4 days I have found not one, but TWO jobs!   There is hope out there, not matter your circumstances.

46.  The dream giver by Bruce Wilkinson

  This is another meaningful book to me.  I read this right after The Jackrabbit factor.  As I mentioned above I was looking for a job at the time I read these two books, and was discouraged.  The Jackrabbit factor was the beginning, and this expanded my vision.
  The dream giver is a story about a Nobody named Ordinary.  Ordinary was young, and he grew to have dreams.  These dreams led him to question the existing society among the Nobody's.  Among the Nobody's, few had dared to have something like a dream.  They lived, ate slept and died as Nobody's.  Nobody did anything extraordinary.   The few who tried left, to find Dream Land.  Many of those who left came back.  They came back because to venture into the unknown is a hard thing.
  So once Ordinary decides he wants to follow his dreams, he starts out on his adventure.  His mother, father and friends all follow him a little ways, begging him to turn around and come back.  He learns to tune out their arguments, and this helps.
  This first trial is much like his later ones.  He comes to a river, which he has to figure out how to cross.  He tries and tries and tries, each time failing.  When he is about to give up and go home, help comes.  It is another Nobody who had made the journey to the Dream Land.  He had decided to come back and help those who tried to follow their dreams.
  The book tells of many more trials that Ordinary faces, among them being lost in a desert, finding food, and other hard things.  Eventually he gains his dream, which makes him incredibly happy.  Once Ordinary gains his dreams, his desire is to go back and help other Nobody's follow their dreams.
  There are many, many lessons to be learned and parallels found between this story and life.  Ordinary can symbolize anyone, you, me your friend, or whoever.  We all have dreams, and we all want to follow them.  But there is a difference between those who attain their dreams, and those who spend all day dreaming.  Those who get anywhere in life act.  Action is key to success in life.  if we don't take that first scary step into the dark, we won't get anywhere.
  If we take action to follow our dreams we will encounter trials, or resistance.  When I was searching for a job I turned in countless resume's and applications to businesses all over Logan.  I had interviews, was told tI would get a call, many, many times.  None of them turned into anything.  But once I read this I took the message of persistence, and determination to heart.  Less than a week after I read The Jackrabbit factor and The dream giver I got two jobs.  Sometimes all our trials take is realizing our problem, then having hope that things will improve.

30.  The greatest miracle in the world by Og Mandino

  This is one of many books written by Og Mandino.  I found this book while wandering through the shelves at the Logan Library.  I didn't think my mom or grandma had read this book, but when I was them they both had.  After I read it I can see why:  it is a classic.
  The book is a story about a reasonably successful man, who while going to work in Chicago one day meets an old man, who is dressed in rags.  He is feeding pidgins while standing in the snow.  After a few encounters the men meet and form a remarkable relationship.  The old man, who refers to himself as a "rag picker" talks to the successful man about being successful.
  Well that happens to be something that the first man knows quite a bit about, or so he thinks.  But the rag picker starts discussing things like philosophy and religion.  That is something the first man doesn't know much about.  The rag picker has read quite widely, and discussed these subjects with a lot of people.  In fact, the term "rag picker" refers to someone who finds those who are down on their luck, those who want to end their lives because they believe themselves to be of no worth, and helping them understand their truth worth and potential.
  The rag picker in this story asks the first man about his personal, family life.  The successful man doesn't have a good relationship with his family, having devoted a large amount of time to his business.  Well, the rag picker discusses the need and benefits of having a strong family.
  At the end of this book the rag picker dies, and leaves a letter addressed to the first man.  The letter is entitled "You are the greatest miracle in the world".  I don't remember all it says, and can't quote any of it.  But it said in essence But reading it right before Christmas, after having gone through surgery, I thought that that message, that God thinks I am the greatest miracle in the world, meant a lot to me. The story, as well as many other stories written by Og Mandino are written in such a way as to not come across as self-righteous. They make sense, and have inspired me, as well as others.  This is definitely a must read.

difficult conversations

Difficult Conversations

by

Stone, Patton and Heen

Notes

(These are my notes on Difficult Conversations.  I am only about 20 pages into the book, but have enjoyed it immensely.)

The reasons conversations can be difficult can range from sexuality, race, gender, politics, religion, or a host of others. Conversations involving these topics don't have to be! Once we understand the 3 conversations, we can gain first an understanding, then appreciation for these conversations.

The 3 types of categories, or conversations:

1. The “What happened?”

2. The Feelings” conversation

3. The “Identity” Conversation

1. “What Happened?”

Often difficult conversations are about what has happened, what will happen, or what should happen. This is the immediate cause for the conversation in the first place. The conversation normally starts with each participant assuming they, and they alone, know the truth. Let's take an example of a manager giving a struggling employee a job that need immediate attention. This comes on short notice, and the employee cancels evening plans to work all night on this new project. In the end, the job is not done correctly.

The manager may say that the employee didn't do the job right, while the employee believes he is overworked and didn't have enough time to properly complete the project. Who is right? Who is to blame for the poorly done job? Who should take the time to fix it?

The employee and the manager both assume they know the truth. The other is the one to blame, not them. They both communicate that the other, then let their relationship deteriorate. But this doesn't have to happen!

3 things to pay attention to:

Who is right?

What meant what?

Who is to blame?

Who is right? This question hints that there is an absolute truth to every conversation. In the example given above, the only thing not disputed in the managers and employees conversation is that the job was not done correctly. They both agree on this point. Beyond this there is disagreement. The boss considers the employee sloppy and lazy. They wish they had hired the other qualified candidate for the job instead of this one. He blames the employee for not doing his job correctly.

The employee resents the manager's demand from the previous day. This has not been the first time the manager has sprung an unexpected project on him at the last minute. He had to cancel a dinner date with his girlfriend. He blames the manager for the whole thing.

How each of the participants feel is not about right and wrong. Neither is to blame in this instance. The manager gave the employee as much time as possible under the circumstances, and the employee gave it his best shot. The way both the manager and employee feel is important. The feelings are matters of interpretation and judgment, not about truth.

Once we understand this point, that the way we feel in a conversation is not about truth, we can move shift our focus during these types of conversations from proving we are right to understanding how the other perceives the problem, their interpretations, and the value of their opinion. And to not offer our perceptions, interpretations, and values as truths.

What meant what? This conversation is about intent. Yours and mine. Sometimes our intentions are hard to interpret. Did I do the dishes because I love you, or because I wanted you to feel guilty for choosing to do something else? Am I trying to keep you out of trouble, or do I want you to be miserable? Did I throw away your beer to help you keep your promise to stay sober or am I trying to control your behavior?

The error we make in the realm of intentions is simple but profound: we assume we know the intentions of others when we don't. Often when we make these kinds of assumptions we assume they are bad.

But the reality is that there is no way to judge others motives. They may or may not be doing something with you in mind. I can shower daily, without once considering how you would feel if I didn't. We most often base our assumptions based on others actions. This is a terrible thing to do. Humans often act in a way they know they shouldn't. I sometimes don't live up to every promise I make, even though I know I need to be trustworthy.

Because our view of others' intentions (and their view of ours) are so important in difficult conversations, leaping to unfounded assumptions can be a disaster.

Who is to blame? Most difficult conversations focus significant attention on who is to blame for the current predicament. When something isn't done, each party concerned will make immediate judgments about the other party. They are lazy, incompetent, or a constant nag.

In the conflict between the manager and the employee, the manager blames the employee. He feels the employee should have stayed a little later to finish up little details in the project. The employee resents the fact that he had to cancel his plans for the evening. He had planned to relax and enjoy dinner with his girlfriend. The employee feels like the manager doesn't appreciate all his hard work.

But talking about fault produces disagreement, denial, and little learning. Nobody likes to take blame, so we put most of our effort to defend our actions, and to point out deficiencies in others. We all like to have a self-image of ourselves as competent, hard working and sensible adults. Then why is it that when having difficult conversations we can become so childish?

I believe we behave the way we do when discussing difficult things is because we have feelings. We care about what others think of us, how they perceive us. We may claim differently, but deep down we know this is true. And taking blame can ruin how we think others perceive us.

Talking about blame distracts us from exploring why things went wrong and how we might avoid future mistakes. Understanding how we can avoid blaming someone will enable us to see the real problems that caused the first problem. It can make a big difference in how you handle and feel about difficult conversations.

What are you?

Couch Potato or Guru, Which One Are You?

I was preparing for a class the other day and I came across some old notes that I wrote down from a class that I took. They were interesting to read because they brought me back to some of the things that have motivated me to further my education. We were talking about what level of learning we were at and what our motivations are at these different levels, take a look and see where you fit and perhaps where you ought to be. Level 1- Couch Potato- you hate learning. Level 2- Money Tree- learn for money, trade manuals, pursuit of property. Level 3- Self- Interest- What interests me or makes me happy. Level 4- Believer - Feel a duty and responsibility to learn, you're disciplined. Level 5- Breadth- Love to learn, changing becoming, you pursue your passion. Level 6- Depth- Dedicated, unending quest for knowledge. Level 7- Ultimate Synergy- You learn to be a statesman, a creator, learn and work for a higher cause. We all fit somewhere in these levels and it doesn't matter where we might be at this moment, what matters is, are we looking to move to a higher one? Wherever we might be there is so much more out there that we could learn, we just need to keep working at it. The journey of education is just that, a journey. There is no end to what we can learn and the joy we find in educating ourselves is the reward for our effort.

I read this on a blog and had to share.  It is interesting to think about.

50 books everyone should read

The other night while sitting here at the hotel I decided to try to identify 50 books that have been influential to me. I think everyone should read these books. Not every book I have enjoyed has to be everyone else's favorite. But these books are classic. A classic is defined as: 1. "of the first or highest quality, class, or rank: a classic piece of work; 2. serving as a standard, model, or guide: the classic method of teaching arithmetic." These books are not in the order of greatest influence of my life. I find it impossible to rank one book over another. But I feel everyone, man or woman, would be better off if they read and understood these books.


1.  The Book of Mormon
2.  The Holy Bible
3.  The Doctrine and Covenants
4.  The Pearl of Great Price
5.  Leadership and Self-Deception by Arbinger Institute
6.  Band of Brothers by Stephan Ambrose
7.  Hanging by the Thread by Donald Anderson
8.  God's Humble Instrument by Ron L. Anderson
9.  Flags of Our Fathers by James Bradley
10.  Enders' Shadow by Orson Scott Card
11.  How to Win Friends and Influence People in the New Digital Age by Carnegie Institute
12.  Prelude to Glory series by Ron Carter
13.  Wild Swans by Jung Chang
14.  Magnificent Obsession by Lloyd Douglas
15.  The Robe by Lloyd Douglas
16.  First Family by Joseph Ellis
17.  Alas, Babylon by Pat Frank
18.  Deconstructing Penguins by Lawrence Gladstone
19.  Team of Rivals by Doris Goodwin
20.  October Sky by Homer Hickham
21.  The Jackrabbit Factor by Leslie Householder

22.  The Great Conversation by Robert Hutchins

23.  Redwall by Brian Jacques
24.  The Education of a Wandering Man by Louis L'Amour
25.  Last of the Breed by Louis L'Amour
26.  Endurance by Alfred Lansing
27.  The Great Divorce by CS Lewis
28.  The Alliance by Gerald Lund
29.  The Freedom Factor by Gerald Lund
30.  The Freatest Miracle in the World by Og Mandino
31.  Are You Liberal, Conservative, or Confused? by Richard Maybury
32.  The Thousand Years War by Richard Maybury
33.  Driven by Larry Miller
34.  Little Britches by Ralph Moody
35.  Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel Pink
36.  Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig
37.  Anthem by Ayn Rand
38.  Harry Potter series by JK Rowling
39.  Any book by Jeff Shaara
40.  The Making of America by W. Cleon Skousen
41.  The Naked Communist by W. Cleon Skousen
42.  The Great and Terrible series by Christ Stewart
43.  Mindset by Carol Sweck
44.  Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmage
45.  The Great Apostasy by James E. Talmage
46.  The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson
47.  All the President's Men by Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein
48.  The Final Days by Bob Woodward
49.  The Promised Land series by David G. Woolley
50.  The Rise of the American Nation

loyalty and love

So this morning I have been watching one of my favorite disney movies:  Brother Bear.  This is the story set in one of the ice ages.  The plot is about how a man, Kenai, turned into a bear learns to love.  Among the ice age people they have a tradition where they all receive their totem, and a word that describes what they will become.  Kenai's totem is a bear, which means love.  He is puzzled about the meaning of his totem.

Kenai and his brother are out hunting, when they run into a mother bear.  The oldest brother dies while fighting the bear, while the bear survives.  Kenai, naturally blames the bear for his older brothers death.  So he takes off in pursuit of it, intending to kill it.  His other older brother, Denahi, comes after Kenai.  Well, Kenai kills the mother bear, and the spirits transform him into a bear.  Denahi, not knowing that Kenai is a bear, tries to kill his brother.

Well, Kenai escapes and winds up traveling with a small cub, Koda.  Kenai had killed Koda's mother.  They travel to where Kenai can turn back into a man.  Through the course of their journey Kenai learns to love Koda.  Denahi follows Kenai and Koda, trying to kill them as revenge for his brothers.  In the end Kenai gets turned back into a human long enough for his brother to know it's him, then he turns back into a bear to be with Koda.  

I love watching disney movies because of the lessons that are easily discerned and their application to life.  One of the lessons from this movie is learning to love.  Loving someone is hard at times.  We are supposed to love unconditionally.  That is near impossible I've come to understand.  But we still need to try.

How do we begin to love someone?  Loving someone should start out in the home.  Mothers and fathers have the duty and responsibility to love any and all children they bring into this world.  They need to care for it, and show it affection.  Love should be strongest among families.

How do families get started?  They get started when a man and woman begin to love each other.  They are attracted to each other by their looks, then they fall in love.  Love is where you care more about the other person and their thoughts and feelings than your own.  You try your best to put them first.

Human beings crave affection.  We are naturally drawn to others, especially those who show us affection, love or attention.  We are not meant to be alone and not be loved.  That is why love in the home is so important.  There needs to be some place in the world where a child can feel comfortable and loved.

In this day and age I feel that there is not enough love.  The newspapers and the news are filled with broken families, people who do terrible things to others.  I do not believe that those individuals care about their victims.  They don't see them as someone who is vulnerable, who has the same craving to be accepted as they do.  

I believe that the human need to be accepted by someone has lead to the formation of many gangs.  The gang provides people with others who accept them, who show affection.  They are a group, which gives identity.  We feel safer as part of a group.  Gang members show loyalty to each other.  

So some may not come from homes where love is strong.  You can still find love elsewhere.  I sometimes struggle with showing my appreciation to others not in my family.  Appreciation may not be love, but it can show that we do accept and like who others are.  This is a lesser form of love.  

So what can we do on a day to day basis that can show others appreciation and love?  We can just show basic kindness.  We can give others the benefit of the doubt.  We can say please and thank you.  Give someone a hug.  Those always help em.  We can praise others for their work.  We can put something away that we didn't get out.  We can go the extra mile.  If it is not required we can do it anyway.

This is my plea to others.  Just be kind to others.  You don't have be assigned something to do it.  If you notice someone struggling, help them.  When you go to a grocery store Talk to the check.  Ask them how their day has been.  It will help them a lot.  When trying to do my suggestions today, please remember: It is better to give than to receive.  If you show others love, you will receive more love in return.

readings

Tonight, (though technically it is morning now) I am reading a book entitled The Samaritan's dilemma, should government help your neighbor?  It's title seemed intriguing to me as I browsed through the library shelves, so I thought I'd see what the author has to say.

I'm on page 2, and so far I'm not very impressed.  She says that we need to reconnect what our government does with a humanitarian endeavor.  One of her concerns about America is that most people think of government as distant, something that is there but that is does not impact their lives directly.

I agree with her on this point.  A coworker of mine declared on Saturday that she wasn't going to vote.  "I hate politics!"  I don't understand the people like her.  Everyone needs to be concerned about government.  This does not mean that we all need to run for public office, but that we stay informed, decide what and who to vote for.  Politics is like deciding your own morals.  Those I vote for should share my same morals.

The author, Deborah Stone, says that politics should be about helping others.  I don't agree with that.  Government there is to protect "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness", not helping others.  Welfare and other "social" programs are socialistic.  Socialism is just a knockoff of communism.

Her plea to the public is a return to the days where you helped your neighbor.  When if someone was homeless, he would at least have food.  In today's world if you don't have money you don't enjoy many of the blessings that come with living in the wealthiest nation on earth. Her point is help your neighbor.

But I don't agree that it is the government's place to make life fair.  Life is definitely not fair.  YOu might be successful business, but I may have done better in school.  I might be artistic, my neighbor might not know how to draw a circle.  God created us with strenghts and weaknesses so that we could grow stronger.  A child does not walk well until they struggle to take that first step.

I do agree that American's today have grown rather selfish.  We do need to look after our neighbors.  Sometimes it's hard, with all of the daily distractions.  I know a lot of times I think of myself before I do others.  There is nothing wrong with that unless you think of yourself so much that you never think of others.

So this book, The Samaritan's dilemma, should government help your neighbor? makes a good point in this day and age.  But it is not the government's job to help us change.

updated book list

Books for 2012:*in progress/not finished
*The Biggest Brother by Larry Alexander
Faith of Our Fathers: A House Divided by Nancy Allen
Faith of Our Fathers: To Make Men Free by Nancy Campbell Allen 
 Faith of Our Fathers: Through the Perilous Fight by Nancy Campbell Allen
Faith of Our Fathers: One Nation Under God by Nancy Campbell Allen
Pegasus Bridge by Stephan Ambrose
Hanging by the Thread by Donald Anderson
Abraham Lincoln: God’s Humble Instrument by Ron L. Anderson
Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews
Leadership and Self Deception by Arbinger Institute
*Archimedes
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
*Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
All the President’s Men by Bernstein
An Enemy Hath Done This by Ezra Taft Benson
Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown
Deception Point by Dan Brown
Digital Fortress by Dan Brown
Dear and Glorious Physician by Taylor Caldwell
*How to win friends and influence people by the Carnegie Institute 
Our Sacred Honor by Paul Carter
The Times That Try Men's Souls by Paul Carter
The Robe by Lloyd Douglas
*As a Man Thinketh by John Dewey
Magnificent Obsession by Lloyd Douglas
The Three Muskateers by Alexandre Dumas
*Cesaer and Christ by Will Durant
*Mindset by Carol Dweck
First  Family by Joseph Ellis
*Founding Brothers by Joseph Ellis
Hank the Cow dog: Case of the Fiddling Fox by John Erickson
Hank the Cow dog: Case of the Bone Monster
*The Ascent of Money by Niall Ferguson
*Civilization by Niall Ferguson
Papa Married a Mormon by John D. Fitzgerlard
J. Edgar Hoover: The Man and the Secrets by Curt Gentry
10 Days That Unexpectedly Changed America by Steven M. Gillon
*The Swerve: How the World Became Modern by Stephen Greenblatt
Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris
October Sky by Homer Hickham
The Coalwood Way by Homer Hickham
Sky of Stone by Homer Hickham
Back to the Moon by Homer Hickham
The Jack Rabbit Factor by Leslie Householder
The Great Conversation by Robert Hutchins
Redwall by Brian Jacques
Profiles in Courage for our time by Caroline Kennedy
The Ugly American by William J. Lederer
Bendigo Shafter by Louis L’Amour
The Education of a Wandering Man by Louis L’Amour
*The Walking Drum by Louis L’Amour
Endurance: Shackelton's Incredible Voyage by Alfred Lansing
The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis 
Mathematicians Lament by Paul Lockhart
And There Was Light by Jacques Lusseyran
The Greatest Miracle in the World by Og Mandino
The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino
Are you Liberal, Conservative, or Confused? An Uncle Eric Book by Richard Maybury
Thousand Years War by Richard Maybury
The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell
1776 by David McCullough 
*History of the World in 100 Objects by Neil McGregor
The Big Scrum: How Teddy Roosevelt saved Football by John J. Miller
Driven by Larry H. Miller
The Curse of the Viking Grave by Farley Mowat
*With Malice towards None by Stephen Oates
Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates us by Daniel PinkThe Scarlet Pimpernel by Emmuska Orczy
Plato’s Apology
Plato’s Crito
12 Pillars of Success by Jim Rohn and Chris Widener
*On the Wealth of Nations by P.J. O’Rourke
A Treasury of Philosophy by Dragobert Runes
*The Price of Civilization by Jeffrey Sachs
German Boy by Wolfgang Samuel
Rise to Rebellion by Jeff Shaara
The Rising Tide by Jeff Shaara
The Steel Wave by Jeff Shaara
No Less Than Victory by Jeff Shaara*
The Final Storm by Jeff Shaara
*Killer Angels by Michael Shaara
*The Making of America by W. Cleon Skousan
*The Naked Communist by W. Cleon Skousan
*Decade of Hope by Dennis Smith
7 Tipping Points That Saved The World by Chris Stewart
The Fourth Turning by William Strauss
Difficult Conversations by Stone, Patton and Heen
The Great Apostasy by James E. Talmage
Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmadge
The Last Patriot by Brad Thor
*The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
It's Just My Nature! by Carol Tuttle
Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc by Mark Twain
The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkenson
All the President’s Men by Bob Woodward
*The Brethren by Bob Woodward
The Secret Man by Bob Woodward
Shadow: 5 Presidents and the Legacy of Watergate by Bob Woodward 
Pillar of Fire by David G. Woolley
Power of Deliverance by David G. Woolley
Place of Refuge by David G. Woolley
Day of Remembrance by David G. Woolley
Swiss Family Robinson by Johann David Wyss